Post # 1
I graduated from college 7 years ago and that summer one of my closest friends from college got married. I was her maid of honor, but since then we haven’t talked on the phone, visited, or even sent messages via Facebook. Just as my fiance and I got engaged, she found me on Facebook and I friended her. I’ve only occasionlly sent her a message or a comment, but she recently sent out a message saying it sounds like you have good news and I’m so excited to talk with you about it.
My fiance and I are having a small 70 person wedding, and I initially put her on the B list, but so far I have only had one person decline. I feel incredibly guilty not inviting her. But I haven’t spoken with her in 7 years. I didn’t invite my coworkers, aquaintances, or even my cousin and I feel that inviting her will cause my family to pressure me to invite other people, too. Not to mention that I hate the idea of adding greater expense to the wedding. I’d love to get back in touch with her, but I don’t know if a wedding is the way to do that.
What would you do?
Post # 3
I’d invite her. It seems like this may be the chance to rekindle a friendship and really, who knows the situation well enough to pressure you – you could have been in constant email/phone contact, I don’t think anyone will question it and clearly you guys were really close in college.
Post # 4
It sounds like you know in your gut what you want to do, and I think it’s fine to not invite her. If you do get back in touch with her at some point and the subject comes up, you can always explain to her that you had a small wedding without coworkers, cousins, etc. If she truly wants to rekindle your friendship, I’m sure she’ll understand!
Post # 5
I think you’re fine either way. You shouldn’t feel guilted into inviting this girl but if you do decide you’d like to see her, then go for it. She should completely understand either way.
Post # 6
id inviter her, just simply its good to have old friends at occasions like this, but if your worried about budget thats a good reason. could always meet up for coffee?
Post # 7
I understand where you’re coming from. If you don’t want to invite her, that’s fine and I’m sure she’d understand. You’re having 70 people and even some of your family haven’t received invites. When she said that she’s excited to talk to you about it, she may have just meant she wants to hear about your planning and sees it as a great topic to have an easy conversation about after not talking much for so long. I had some friends who we couldn’t invite to the wedding, but they were always asking and showing real interest in the wedding anyway. It could be the same here.
Post # 8
Would you like to be friends again? If you haven’t moved on or outgrown the relationship and can see being friends for years to come I would see this as an opportunity to talk again.
Post # 9
I don’t think you need to invite her. If you have barely been in contact over the past 7 years and aren’t even inviting some other people that you have been closer with then you definitely don’t need to send her an invite. If you want to get back in touch with her then go for it, but you can do so at a more casual location without having to stretch your wedding budget and cause more pressure from the rest of your family. Even if you simply explained how small your wedding was going to be and that you can’t invite other friends of yours either I’m sure she will understand.
Post # 10
- Wedding: April 2011 - AnthonyÃ¢Â€Â™s Fine Dining
I don’t think you need to invite her. 7 years is a long time! If you were having a huge wedding, it’d be one thing. But a small affair is understandable, and I’m sure she’ll understand too.
Post # 11
I don’t think you need to invite her. It’s been 7 years and relationships change. You can get in touch with her after the wedding but not invite her. I’m sure she’ll understand.
Post # 12
It’s ok not to invite her if none of the people in your A list declines. Just because you were Maid/Matron of Honor in her wedding does not obligate you to invite her after 7 years of no contact.
Post # 13
Without a doubt I’d invite her, as my moh from when I married my ex is my moh now.
Post # 14
if you haven’t talked to her in that long, doesn’t sound like your that close, and i wouldn’t invite her.
Post # 15
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
It just depends on how close you are to her. If you haven’t spoken with her in 7 years and don’t really see yourselves rekindling the friendship, I think it’s fine to leave her off the guestlist – especially if you’re keeping it that small!!
Post # 16
She doesn’t have to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, just invite her and husband.