Post # 1
I’ve been reading about invitation etiquette and we’re not sure what to do.
Some people say do NOT write where you are registered.. some say go head and write it so your guests aren’t guessing or have to search for the information.
My sister is pro writing where you are registered..
Next issue. We do not want to register anywhere. We already have a house and everything we need in it. We are wanting to do big projects like new grass and a new fence.
So question: Is there a polite way to state that you would like cash and are not registered anywhere? Or do we just leave it off and let guests do what they want?
Post # 3
There is no polite way of asking for cash. If you don’t need any gifts, just don’t register anywhere, people who want to get you gifts, will still get you gifts. Others will give cash.
Post # 4
@maypearl: Don’t register anywhere. I think it usually sends the message that you’d prefer a cash gift.
Post # 5
If you are following etiquette, there should be no mention of gifts or registry on your invitation.. I definitely would not ask for cash.
I know it’s common in countries like Australia to have a wishing well, but if they are available at every wedding, why is it necessary to point it out on your invitation.
Post # 6
@maypearl: There is no polite way to ask for cash, just as there is no polite way to ask for gifts.
Don’t create a register, spread the information by word of mouth. If anyone asks you directly or anyone close to you, respond ” We have most of the things we need and are saving for ______.”
You will likely get cash or gift cards.
Post # 7
Just leave off all gift preferences and registry info. Make sure your address is easy to read on your envelope for those that send you checks before the big day.
Post # 8
@maypearl: We have our registry listen on our wedding website…which was listed on out STD and will be on our invites as well. We figured this would allow people to get the details for the wedding as well as the registry if they want. There is no polite way to ask for cash. People will end up getting you gifts regardless, I’m sure. But i agree with PP if you don’t register, people will just pick gifts for you…and others will give you cash…but there’s no way to assure that you will only get $$
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse
a) Official etiquette says you don’t mention a registry on your invitation however, if you have a website you can put it there but not on the actual invitation.
b) you cannot ask for, nor allude to the fact you would prefer cash. It’s generally understood that if you do not have a registry that monetary gifts are preferred.
Post # 10
Agreed. Do register, hints that you dont need items! But if you do have a registry, place that in your invitation
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2014 - Waldorf Astoria, Chicago
@maypearl: I feel like the whole etiquette thing is super old fashioned. You shouldn’t just ask for cash, but I see nothing wrong in having a link on your wedding website to a site that allows people to donate money to house projects. I wouldn’t personally do this, but i know people who have done this to ask for cash for honeymoon or home improvements. I was not put off by that at all. I think it’s polite to still have a small registry for the older crowd that expects it. You can always return the items for cash later.
Post # 12
@maypearl: It’s been my understanding that it is okay to put where you are registered on the invite (some people prefer it) but I also think there is no polite way you can ask for cash… especially on your invite!
Your best bet would probably be to not register anywhere, not put anything on your invite and use word of mouth that you guys don’t need anything for home.
Post # 13
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
Don’t mention gifts ever, anywhere in the invitation suite.
Since you aren’t registering, leave it to your guests to figure it out and make sure your parents know you want cash. People are smart. Everyone knows everyone likes cash.