Invitation question

posted 3 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Hostess
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

There is no polite way of asking for cash. If you don’t need any gifts, just don’t register anywhere, people who want to get you gifts, will still get you gifts. Others will give cash.

Post # 4
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@maypearl:  Don’t register anywhere. I think it usually sends the message that you’d prefer a cash gift. 

Post # 5
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

If you are following etiquette, there should be no mention of gifts or registry on your invitation..  I definitely would not ask for cash.

I know it’s common in countries like Australia to have a wishing well, but if they are available at every wedding, why is it necessary to point it out on your invitation.

Post # 6
Member
42453 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@maypearl:  There is no polite way to ask for cash, just as there is no polite way to ask for gifts.

Don’t create a register, spread the information by word of mouth. If anyone asks you directly or anyone close to you, respond ” We have most of the things we need and are saving for ______.”

You will likely get cash or gift cards.

Post # 7
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Just leave off all gift preferences and registry info. Make sure your address is easy to read on your envelope for those that send you checks before the big day.

Post # 8
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@maypearl:  We have our registry listen on our wedding website…which was listed on out STD and will be on our invites as well.  We figured this would allow people to get the details for the wedding as well as the registry if they want.  There is no polite way to ask for cash.  People will end up getting you gifts regardless, I’m sure.  But i agree with PP if you don’t register, people will just pick gifts for you…and others will give you cash…but there’s no way to assure that you will only get $$

Post # 9
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

@maypearl:  

a) Official etiquette says you don’t mention a registry on your invitation however, if you have a website you can put it there but not on the actual invitation.

b) you cannot ask for, nor allude to the fact you would prefer cash.  It’s generally understood that if you do not have a registry that monetary gifts are preferred.

Post # 10
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

Agreed. Do register, hints that you dont need items! But if you do have a registry, place that in your invitation

Post # 11
Member
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Waldorf Astoria, Chicago

@maypearl:  I feel like the whole etiquette thing is super old fashioned.  You shouldn’t just ask for cash, but I see nothing wrong in having a link on your wedding website to a site that allows people to donate money to house projects.  I wouldn’t personally do this, but i know people who have done this to ask for cash for honeymoon or home improvements.  I was not put off by that at all. I think it’s polite to still have a small registry for the older crowd that expects it.  You can always return the items for cash later. 

Post # 12
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@maypearl:  It’s been my understanding that it is okay to put where you are registered on the invite (some people prefer it) but I also think there is no polite way you can ask for cash… especially on your invite!

Your best bet would probably be to not register anywhere, not put anything on your invite and use word of mouth that you guys don’t need anything for home.

Post # 13
Member
7929 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Don’t mention gifts ever, anywhere in the invitation suite.

Since you aren’t registering, leave it to your guests to figure it out and make sure your parents know you want cash. People are smart. Everyone knows everyone likes cash.

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