Post # 1
I need some help with the timing of everything. So, Asians are nortiously late. I’m Asian, if you looked up the definition of tardiness, a picture of my family (immediate and extended) would be smiling right back. I want everyone seated before 7 and so the food can start around 7:15-7:30.
So I was thinking of putting on our invitations cocktails start at 6, dinner starts at 7, but in reality cocktails won’t start until 6:30 (open bar package with the restaurant). That way people come between 6:30-7 and I will only get a few straglers. And for the few people that come on time, by the time you’re done saying hi to everyone, finding your eat, it would be around 6;30 anyway. Do you think that would work? Would it be in bad form?
The reason for me being a stickler for time is because we’re having an Asian banquet dinner, which entitles close to 10 courses. The later I start the later the meal will be completed which cuts into the dancing and stuff.
Post # 3
is there away that the asian family gets a different invite with the earlier time noted so they will be on time. while the family friends who are ontime doesnt have to wait forever??
i know what you mean about family being late. my family(mother is notorious for being an hour late to be events…) i told them to be their earlier just because this frighten me so bad.
i ended up being late but i think most of our guests were just happy the wedding happened they didnt mind.
Post # 4
LOL… I’m Asian too and I know exactly what you mean by this 🙂
I think the timings you’ve mentioned would work out. If I saw my invitation stating cocktails at 6, dinner at 7, I would probably try to time my arrival around 6.15 to 6.30.
One thing though, what about those people who can be punctual? Is there anyway you can arrange with the restaurant some sort of welcome drinks? As in, I’m the first one there… there’s no one I can say hi to, you get my meaning?
Damn, now I’m worried about my wedding. My ceremony needs, neeeddds, to start at 12.30… which was what I put in the invitation and any delay could potentially throw everything off-track… Urgh
Good luck with yours!
Post # 5
@quirky tersa – ME TOO!! My ceremony has to start exactly at 12:30 (per church’s orders). I’m just putting noon on the inivitations.
For the reception, they’re willing to put small bites on the table and tea and the water glasses will be filled so I hope that will tie people over.
Post # 6
@bzybee15 Oooo you’re smart! 😛 I wished now the same thought had occured to me when I was printing the invites >.< I didn’t dare time it earlier since I’m having my tea ceremony at 11… And I figured most guests would arrive between 12 – 12.30… Oh well, as long as I start walking down by about 12.45, I should be fine… (Fingers crossed)
Hehehe… would that be the usual pickles, peanuts and chinese tea bit? That’s what tide me over while waiting for stragglers
Post # 7
@quirky_tersa – haha, no no pickled veggies here. The restaurant is offering these wedding cookies. Yes a bit awkward to servce before dinner, but I figured the guest could wait a bit for the 10 courses. 🙂
Post # 8
I think it’s pretty common for wedding events to start 5-15 minutes later than the printed start time. My BF has even suggested that it’s in bad taste to start a wedding right on time. I disagee, but obviously there are people out there who expect a little grace period (we are both Southern – maybe it’s a regional thing?). I don’t think planning for that is in bad taste at all; it’s actually very thoughtful of you to try and make sure your family doesn’t miss out on the meal.
Now, I’m not Asian, so my family’s rules for etiquette may be pretty different from your family’s, but while I think it’s okay to be fashionably late to a party, I would never be 30 minutes late to a wedding or dinner unless there was an emergency. In fact, I would plan to arrive at least 5 minutes earlier than the stated start time, if not 15. I am worried that if you have guests who aren’t from your same culture, they will not understand why they arrived at 5:45 to be on time for drinks at 6, but nothing was served to them until 6:30. As someone who is always early to events, I would not put a larger window than about 15 minutes between the written start time and the official start time, just so people aren’t bored and wondering why they bothered to show up on time. Maybe have your invites say drinks at 6 and start them at 6:15 (or even on time – there’s nothing wrong with serving cocktails before everyone has arrived). Then (like you suggested) say dinner will begin at 7, and have the food come out around 7:15. I don’t think early guests would mind sitting around with a cocktail for an hour before getting dinner, and that still gives latecomers a large window of time to make it for the first course.
Post # 9
I’m Black, but I STILL know exactly what you mean because we can be notorious for this as well. My FI wants to give a grace period which many do. My grace period is 5 mins. I know our immediate families and close friends will be on time, but everyone else will have to wait. My reasoning is my photographer and coordiantors are giving me 6-8 hours and I’m not losing 30+ minutes on stragglers.
However, it sounds like in your situation it is pretty much understood most family will be late and doing a switch up is the best route. I agree that, if possible, it would be nice to send invitations to friends you know will be on time with the correct timing or make a phone call/send text to briefly explain the situation. Some people get irritated once you hit the 15-minutes late mark .