Post # 1
I have a couple out of town cousins who have been with their boyfriends/girlfriends/fiances for a couple years, and do not live together.
I heard it’s incorret to send the address to the cousin with their significant other’s name on it as well, however I feel like a serious relationship deserves more than an “and guest”.
Is sending them a separate invitation the correct thing to do? I’ve never met these people (and barely know the cousins), so I wouldn’t want or expect them to show up without the family member that’s the “primary invitee”
Honestly, I don’t think anybody in my family is going to care, but I think it’s good to know a rule before you break it 🙂
Post # 3
Send them their own invitations. It’s the right thing according to etiquette, and hopefully they will appreciate it.
Post # 4
I would put both of their names (separate lines) on one invitation.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!
I’d send it to the main family member’s abode, and address it like this…
Mr./ Ms. Sig. Other
3243 Relative Lane
Family, Virgina 39204
Post # 6
I just think the SO’s might open up their mail, and be like… who’s the random inviting me to their wedding?
I think I’m going to go against etiquette on this one. They’re all young, and are probably a little more flexible on these rules.
Post # 7
Ditto scissors and jojo: one invite, two names.
Post # 8
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
I’d do one invite, two names, like Miss Scissors suggested.
Post # 9
Yeah…ditto on scissors, jojo and nonimouse. It’s hard enough getting relatives’ addresses, much less their SOs!
Post # 10
Do one invite two names. Otherwise you run the problem of the so’s coming even if they break up. You def dont want that.
Post # 11
Unless your family is extremely wealthy/proper…. i say to hell with etiquette. Just put both names on one invitation.
Post # 12
Agree with starcharades’ reasoning as well as the fact that old fashioned etiquette hasn’t quite caught up with the modern world in some instances, this being one of them. Personally I think it would be ruder to say “and guest” when you KNOW the guest’s name 🙂
Post # 13
What we did in this case was to send the outer envelope to the family member and then address the inside to the couple together. So, for example, Mr. John Doe (outside) and John and Jane on the inside.
Just keep in mind that sometimes things happen and people do break up, so you might not want to invite the SO with his/her own invitation. I know in our case, one of my cousins broke up with his GF of 3 years right before our wedding and I was glad that I didn’t have her name on the invitation to remind him of that!
Post # 14
Ok, I agree with most of you.
I’m going to go with putting the family’s member’s name on the outside envelope (since it’s weird to send mail to somebody when they don’t live at the house) and then just put both names on the inner envelope. I definitely wouldn’t want somebody’s ex to attend because they received their own invite. I think the chance of that is super slim though, since it would involve a 4 hour flight and $500 plane ticket…
Post # 15
I say just screw etiquette and send them a single invitation to your cousin’s house, with both names on the invitation. This is what we’re doing for our friends who are in serious relationships. The idea of sending an individual invite to each person in the couple at their individual addresses doesn’t sit right with me… unless you happen to be very good friends individually with each member of the couple.
Post # 16
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with putting two names, separate lines, on the envelopes. I was a bit bummed when FI’s friends had me down as “guest”, not only on the invite but also on the escort card, despite the fact that the couple knew we have been together for 5+ years at the time of their wedding. It was especially poignant to me b/c we got engaged about 3 weeks prior to their wedding.