Post # 1
Hi girls, this is my first proper post for advice so hopefully you will be able to help. I need advice on invitation wording…
For info, we are having a semi DW with just 16 guests and then a big party for about 200 people two days later back in our hometown. I need invitations for both. My future in laws are contributing about half of the cost of the wedding/party and me and FI are paying the other half. I don’t speak to my parents so they won’t be there (not sure if they even know we are getting married) and obviously are not contributing financially or in any other way.
Both FI and I don’t really think the invitations should come from his parents as it sort of draws attention to my lack of parents and leaves things open to questions or speculation that that I don’t really need. Plus his parents are contributing but won’t be ‘hosting’ as such, both the actual wedding and the party are going to be informal events and we are paying the costs for these anyway.
I just wanted to check what the correct ettiquette is here? I’d rather the invitations weren’t really ‘from’ anyone, I think having them from us sounds a bit weird (as if we are talking about ourselves in the third person of something!) so was playing around with more casual ‘you are invited to join us in celebrating our marriage’ type of wording without using anybody’s names at all. The invitations themselves are very informal and have a photo of us on them, in case people were wondering how guests would know who’s wedding it is!
Thoughts? Has anyone found a way round this or does anyone have a suggestion of wording that is informal, but also ‘correct’ in terms of etiquette?
Post # 2
no names at all? that’s odd. i wouldn’t do that, even with a photo.
maybe just use your first names?
Post # 3
I think your guests would still appreciate having your names on it…and I agree with the PP, maybe just first names to keep it casual.
Post # 4
glasgowgirl: You need the first and last names of the bride and groom on your invites. Names can jog memories much better than most pictures. Plus, what if they want to write you a check, give you a personalized gift and so on? If they have any doubts on the spelling of names, they likely won’t do it.
Post # 5
Sorry, I wasn’t very clear! Our first names are on the front of the invitations with the picture, it’s just the wording of ‘glasgowgirl’ and ‘glasgowboy’ would like to invite you to their wedding (or whatever) that I feel looks a bit strange. Maybe it’s because normally invitations do come from parents in my cirlce and that’s why it looks odd to me?
Its worth mentioning that everyone who is coming to the wedding knows us very very well so nobody would need their memory jogging about who we are, but you have raised a really useful point about our surnames because I wasn’t going to include them, but I am not changing my name so if sombody did want to write us a cheque they would probably need to know that.
Thanks for the advice, you may have noticed that I am bit clueless on these things! Its my second wedding as well so you would think I would be a pro!
Post # 6
Here is an example of more casual wording that does not include a mention of families or parents
Post # 7
glasgowgirl: You were on the right track with the passive voice, but you should definitely clarify WHO is being married. 🙂
The pleasure of your company
is requested at the marriage of
on day, date
and afterwards at a reception
Post # 8
Yeah you don’t NEED to include parent names. We both have good relationships with our parents, mine are contributing some $ as is my grandmother, but we found an invitation we loved that didn’t really have a good way of putting family members’ names in, not even in a “together with their families” way. (This is our invite, in the yellow and gray version: http://www.vistaprint.com/vp/ns/easypath/studio.aspx?pf_id=ALK&combo_id=1268918&referer=http%3a%2f%2fwww.vistaprint.com%2fgallery.aspx%3fpg%3d39%26filter%3d4294936929%3a4294918254%3a4294918158%3a4294918142%7c%7c3%2c9%3a10013%7c%7c1%2c78%3a10467%7c%7c1%2c3%3a10077%7c%7c1%26page%3d2%26pagesize%3d24%26sort%3dp_TO!desc%26xnav%3dpagenav%26xnid%3dtop&uei=755688&ag=true&ssc=1&ag_category_id=2482&xnav=previews&xnid=image_39&rd=1#alt_doc_id=M65N6-T2A01-6P6)
Even if we did have an easy way to put their names in, I’m not sure we would have included them. In your case where one set is out of the picture I would just leave it out. I’m sure your FILs will understand that you don’t want to highlight the strain in your family.
Post # 9
Another common opening is “Together with their families…”