Post # 1
I am really struggling with a simple invitation wording. I would like to honor all sets of parents by listing them on the invitation but I do not know how to go about it.
My parents and my partner’s mother and step-dad are contributing to our wedding whereas my partner’s father is hosting the rehearsal dinner. My partner’s father is also paying for my partner’s clothing for the wedding day so I think that counts as paying for some of the wedding… and it would just be weird to say that my parents and one set of my fiance’s parents are hosting our wedding. So I have five people and I have no idea how to list them all as hosting in a proper way, but I know that my parents expect their names to be on there as hosting, but it’s not really fair to say they’re hosting when my partner’s parents are contributing too, even if not as much. Ughhhh this is complicated, hope you can follow it!
I don’t want to say “together with our families” because my partner and I are not paying for our wedding (unless you count a few random things like the deal I scored for my shoes and we are purchasing our wedding bands and ketubah).
Any suggestion of how to say the parents are hosting? And how to tactfully do it when there are five parents involved, one of them being a step-father?
How about this:
“Ms. _____ and Mr. ______
along with Dr. ____ & Mr. ________
and Mr. ________
invite you to celebrate blah blah blah”
Or is that making it look like someone is paying more than someone else?
And is it weird that a step-parent (the second Mr.) would get listed before my partner’s father? So confusing…
OR should I just say something like “Our families invite you to celebrate…)
(Note: We are Jewish and we tend to go more with “invite you to celebrate/share our joy” rather than “request your honor,” although many Jewish people also use the latter)
Post # 3
@nawella: This is what we used:
It is with great happiness that
My parents names
his parents names
invite you to join the celebration of the marriage of their children
. . .
It was meant to be more of a respect/honor the parents thing rather than the traditional “who’s hosting” or “who’s paying” sort of recognition. We paid for a large chunk of our wedding ourselves. I knew my parents would not like the “together with our families” option 🙂
ETA: sorry, I don’t have any great advice re: how to list step parents etc. I think the way you have it is fine if you want to have everyone included.
Post # 4
@nawella: I think your wording is fine – I don’t see any financial hierarchy in the way you have written it.
Post # 5
Maybe something similar to what we did? My parents are still married, but his are divorced.
Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe
invite you to witness
the marriage of their daughter
son of John Smith and Jane Smith
Post # 6
Okay this sounds pretty good so far! Thanks!
Post # 7
@nawella: Another Jewish bee, and we’re only a week apart!
What we’re doing is:
Mr. & Mrs. Pocketfox Parents and
Mr. Pocketfox FIL
Mrs. Pocketfox MIL
request the honour of your presence etc.
However, in our case, FI’s step father is not involved in the wedding, other than being FMIL’s significant other. We also don’t plan on having him in the processional or in the program.
PS. We’re using honour of your presence because my parents aren’t Jewish, and that’s what I’m used to, and FI doesn’t really care
Post # 8
Wow I had no idea that the wording on the invite had anything to do with who was paying for the wedding!
I was struggling with the wording as my parents are divorced and my SO’s are not, but these are some great suggestions!
I’m marrying into Jewish 🙂
Post # 9
I am struggling too! My mother passed away about 7 years ago and my dad’s girlfriend has become like a second mother to me – she is helping me plan the whole thing – but I have no idea if I should list her on the invites or not!
My dad is paying for a lot of it (with FI’s parents) but she bought my dress & is paying for hair/makeup for all the bridesmaids. UGH! I also don’t want my mom’s family to feel as if I have replaced my mom (which obviously I haven’t).
Post # 10
Why not keep it simple? “The families of Nawella & Nawella’s FH invite you….” Too many specifics make it clunky, imo.
Post # 11
I was going to say “Together with their families…” but I see you didn’t want that.
I do like what @chercee: suggested, though – seems like a great way to save words and space 🙂
And then maybe list your family members with a description and a “thank you” in the back of the ceremony program? This way people can read a little about them and why you’re grateful.
Post # 12
@jbh13: I agree. The “Son of…” line works really well to include all families!
Post # 13
@pocketfox: Yay Jewish bees! Thanks for the suggestion 🙂 I also had the practical idea to talk to FI and he says not to put his stepdad on the invitation but we will include him in the program. Woohoo!
@weatherbug: Wow that sounds really tough! I think you can include her if she means a lot to you, although I guess I don’t know your family’s politics. Maybe you could find a way to honor your mother on the invitation as well.
@something_orange: You know, I have been doing some research and found out that it shouldn’t really matter about who’s paying for the wedding but your family culture, and I know that my parents would be hurt if I didn’t include them on the invite, but I think people can do what they want for the reasons that matter for them!
@chercee: This is also a good option, although my parents would probably be hurt if I didn’t put their names on the invite. Hmmm…
@CakeyP: Love this idea for the program! Thanks!
Post # 14
@weatherbug: Have you thought of using “Together with our families”, which would encompass everyone, and then under your names, putting your parents? For example:
Together with their families,
Daughter of Papa Weatherbug and the late Mama Weatherbug
Son of etc etc etc
And then in the ceremony program, you can list your dad’s girlfriend
Post # 15
Oh yeah! And piggy backing off of pocket fox, for your line of the invitation it could also say, depending what feels right to you:
Daughter of late/missed mamaweatherbug
and dadweatherbug + dad’s girl friend
Post # 16
We’re going with “together with our families” because my parents are divorced and FI’s Dad passed away a few days ago. If we were going to have names, he wanted both of his parents, but didn’t want me to put “the late” in front of his dad’s name. He thought it was weird. Since I thought my family would be confused why his dad wasn’t there (and because I didn’t want my dad to get pissed when my mom’s name was first) (I have issues, right?) we went with the above. My mom, dad and us are splitting it pretty close to evenly, so that seems right.