- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
@captaintina: Honestly – your step mom is not your “parent”, I personally would put your mom and dad. Can you talk to your dad and just explain that given the circumstances with your moms health, and the situation surrounding their divorce it would be more appropriate to word the invite that way? Right now I’d appease my mom. I’m so sorry, I hope your day is beautiful and you get to make long-lasting memories with her 🙂
@captaintina: Your step mom isnt your actual parent like previous poster stated. I would just put your mom and dads name and be done with it. Your dad will just have to live with the decision. I think it’s more importatnt to please your mother with what she is going through.
I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I cannot imagine that. I know she is very ill, but your father’s wife has been in your life for 25 years, and as such should be listed on the invitation. I just received one that listed a mother, followed by father & wife.
No reason to list the second wife on the invite…. none at all.
@captaintina: First of all, I’m so sorry about your mother’s illness! That’s terrible. Many virtual *hugs* your way.
I think having a chat with you father to explain why you don’t want to put your step mother’s name on the invitation would be nice. Just tell him that your mother would be hurt and in her current state of health it would be nice of him if he could just humor her. If he refuses, too bad for him but your step mother is not your actual parent and doesn’t need to be mentioned on the invitation. Your mother is very ill, I think appeasing her would be the right thing to do here.
I am sorry for what your mother is going through and for what you are dealing with.
The basic rule of thumb is to tread lightly — you don’t want to salt old wounds or, if one parent is happily remarried and the other is unhappily not, bring public attention to this fact, if only to spare the unmarried parent’s feelings. Your safest bet is to list your natural parents’ names only and on separate lines. If one parent has been remarried for a significant amount of time and that stepparent has played an important role in your life, it is appropriate to include that person’s name on the same line as his or her wife or husband. (And regardless of who’s remarried, always list the mother first.)
Your mum comes first. Never mind what your dad says. There is no reason at all for your step mum to be on it because you are not her daughter. It’s your wedding and entirely up to you how you word your invitations.
That aside, all the best to your mum and I really hope she has a fantastic day with you and the rest of the family. xx
I had a very similar issue with the wording of my invites. My fiance’s dad expected his step-mom’s name to be on the invites (he also left my fiance’s mother for this woman while my fiance was a child) and his mother didn’t want that. My mother wanted the parents’ names on the invites for the same reason as your mom. In the end I talked to my fiance who said he just wanted biological parents and if his step mom was hurt then he didn’t really care as the day was about us, not them.
My advice would be to just go with your mom and dad. Don’t worry about the step mom, its not about them at all.
@captaintina: I am so very sorry to hear about your mom. Could you maybe write something on the invitation to make it less formal and write
Because you have shared in our lives
By your friendship and love, we
Bride and groom
Invite you to share the beginning of our new life together
BRIDE AND GROOM
ARE GETTING MARRIED!
I’d go less formal, and just leave parents names off it altogether. I knew there’d be fuss if we put my parents names before my husbands (even though we and my parents paid for the wedding) so we just left it with ‘together with our families’ and it was fine.
@captaintina: First, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. We’ve dealt with more than our fair share of cancer in my family, so my heart is just breaking for you.
I would do
daughter of Mom Captaintina and Dad Captaintina
son of His Mom & His Dad
invite you to celebrate blah blah blah….
That way, there’s no logical way for your stepmother to be put on the invite, because you are NOT her daughter.
Also— if your dad bitches about it, tell him to suck it. Your mom gets anything she wants right now and if he doesn’t like it he can kick rocks.