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Hey date twin! I think it sounds good, but wonder if it ends up not giving your dad (who's paying for most) enough credit. That's a tricky one. I think as long as he doesn't mind, what you came up with sounds good.
@melodicsighs1 oh darnit! I was thinking the exact same thing, so I'm really glad you mentioned it! I'm not sure how to give him more credit while still recognizing my mom and my fiances parents... PS that's an awesome date you've chosen :)
we are getting married the following weekend. 
these are some changes i would make:
- five thirty o'clock should read half past five o'clock
- in our hometown OF albuquerque...
I'm not sure what the Santa Ana Pueblo is...from reading your invitation wording I'm thinking it's a boat? If not, you may want to reword it for confused folk like me. 
@sammyj thanks so much for the input!
- five thirty o'clock is actually still correct. I like the way the "o'clock" looks in our font so I think I'll keep that
- Correct me if I'm wrong, but grammatically, there is no need for the "of"
- The Santa Ana Pueblo is a Native American pueblo (which is a town of sorts). Not a boat. Haha :) No need for boats here in the desert. Maybe if it is confusing I can leave it out :) Never would have guessed that'd be an issue so thanks for the fresh perspective!
personally, I think that "half past five o'clock" sounds better, and you still get your "o'clock" :)
I like the half past five o'clock better as well, the other sorta caught me off guard, and made me think huh?
I think as long is dad is ok with the wording, that you did a good job of incorporating everyone.
I agree with @eholden. You should consult with your dad, and make sure that he is ok with the wording. As long as he's ok with it, I personally think the wording is great!
Thanks to all for the great input! I'm going to talk to my pops and get back to you
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I've been struggling with how to word our invitations and think I've finally got it. My dad is paying for 99% of the wedding, but my FI's parents are contributing as are my FI and I so i felt like we needed to give everyone a little credit. My mom is kind of out of the picture, but I don't want to be hurtful by leaving her out.
What do you think?
Because your love and friendship have guided and inspired us, we, along with our families, invite you to join us as we exchange our vows of marriage
elizabeth andrea blankenhorn
daughter of Tom Blankenhorn & Nancy lastname
&
matthew christopher lastname
son of Timothy & Monica lastname
may 22, two thousand and ten
five thirty o’clock in the evening
in the hummingbird garden at
the hyatt regency tamaya resort & spa
1300 tuyuna trail
on the santa ana pueblo
in our hometown albuquerque, nm
food, libations & merriment to follow