Post # 1
Here’s the deal. My fiance’s father is paying for the rehearsal dinner, and my father and step-father are contributing to the rest.
The F and I are still working out our budget for the smaller things, but between the two of my dads, their contributions will pay for somewhere between 50 to 80% of our total wedding costs, excluding the honeymoon, which we’ll pay for ourselves.
I’m having a hard time wondering how to word the invitations and would love some suggestions. Basically the way I’m wording it is this:
Prospective Bride and Prospective Groom, along with their [fill in the blank], request the pleasure of your company at their marriage. It’ll be more exciting than that, but that’s the gist of it.
Is it appropriate to say “together with their parents” when his father is paying for the rehearsal dinner only? I’m assuming it’s OK to say Bride and Groom (together with whomever) if we’re all sharing in the costs. But how do I handle the “their”? Is the rehearsal dinner considered part of the wedding, and therefore a “together with their parents” is appropriate?
Post # 3
I don’t think that whoever pays for what should be the decision. Can’t you say “Parents” or “families”? I think it gets too complicated when money is a factor (isn’t that the case in all situations?) any hoot…I think doing it this way makes it less complicated and they are all included without anyones feelings being hurt.
Post # 4
Thank you. I had a feeling that was the most appropriate way to handle this. The last thing we want to do is cause hurt feelings…
Post # 5
I had a similar situation. Mother and Father are divorced. Father and Stepmother (who helped raise me) are separating. I had to consult two etiquette books but what I learned is that traditionally, the brides parents host the wedding regardless of who pays. As your parents are “giving your hand in marriage” their names go on the first line. You can always do the following
Mrs and Mr. Mother and Stepfather
request the pleasure of your company…
Your name and your fiances should be in the middle of the page to draw the eye to that space. I also had my invitation designer make my parents names smaller and mine bigger to take the focus off of the non traditional parenting wording. Good luck.
Post # 6
My brother and I are in the same boat. His in laws paid for only half the wedding and our parents paid for RD and the remaining half of the wedding. Our parents are divorced. Dad is remarried and mom has been dating a man for 6 years now. So my brother just put on his invite Together with our parents.
My FI and I are doing invitations that look like a poster with an airplane on them. So we just had our names. It is really graphic fonts etc. And so we aren’t worried with the formal wording.
Post # 7
Thanks for your response. I like your solution very much. Let me throw another monkey wrench into the plan: how would you word the “Mrs. and Mr. Stepfather” if my mother is deceased? The complexity never ends…
It’s amazing to me how non-traditional the world is right now with relationships, and how, for some reason, we’re sticking with tradition for things like wedding invitations. Thanks for your response.
Post # 8
I understand the complexity. Both FI and my parents are divorced. Both FI’s parents contributed toward the wedding and my parents couldn’t contribute anything. We just checked with them about what they felt comfortable with regarding invitation wording. FI’s mother did not want her name listed with his dad and stepmother’s names. She’d rather her name be left off completely, so we just said John & Jane invite you to celebrate …