Post # 1
I am getting ready to order our invitations online and have come across some etiquette that I am having trouble accepting. FI and I are paying for most of the wedding, with my parents paying for the venue and other miscellaneous things . FI’s mom has offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner (and just recently postage for invitations and STDs), while FI’s father has not offered any help, financial or otherwise.
My mom has taken over the decorations/table settings. This is absolutely fine with me, since I am really not into that at all. She is also willing to help with anything I ask her to.
My problem is this: My mom, with everything that she is doing to help, only gets her name as “Mr. & Mrs. DaiquiriSDad’s First Name and Last name” on the invitation, while FMIL and FFIL each get their own line with their full name because they are divorced. I thought the bride and groom were supposed to be the only ones with their own line on the invitation? Do I have to give them their own line each? FMIL is always going on about tradition (mostly who is supposed to pay for what), and I know traditionally, they (FIL) don’t even belong on the invite, but FI has already said he wants them on there.
What do you guys think of this?
Ms. Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith (same line, full name each)
Everyone who knows them knows they are divorced with no chance of getting back together. (Let’s just say she is not fond of him nor his new wife of 15 years.)
I guess I also have a problem with “divorce” getting this much attention on a wedding invitation.
I need help with other types of wording, if there are any. I researched this on WB, and someone did ask about a year ago, but got no responses. I hope someone can help this time!
Post # 3
You dont have to give them their own line. My FI’s parents are divorced and his dads name wont be on the invite at all, instead he will have his Uncle’s name, since his uncle took care of him as a father. Both his FMIL and FI’s uncles names will be on one line. I did worry about this for a while but realized that this is one of those things that most people wont really care about
Post # 4
We used “Together with their parents” and I liked it much more than Mr and mrs so and so and son of so and so…..its just weird to me! We had a somewhat formal wedding and Togethe with their parents fit us better because there were several parties contributing to the wedding AND my parents are divorced. Honestly the wedding is about the couple that is getting married so I feel like their names are the only ones who should be featured on the invitation! The only reason why you put the other names is to denote who paid for the wedding and to me that is ridiculous!!
Post # 5
Well, the old-school answer to this problem might actually suit your situation.
1) The bride’s parents issue the invitation in their own name, and mention their daughter and the full name of the man she is marrying:
Mr and Mrs DadsFirst Lastname
request the honour of the presence of
Mr and Mrs Guest
to the marriage of their daughter
Mr FIfirst FIlast… &tc
There’s also nothing wrong with “Mr Dad Lastname and Ms Mom Lastname if your mom prefers having her first name used. You can in fact even use Mrs Mom Lastname if she likes that — it is a very old form that’s outdated by Victorian standards, but not essentially wrong.
2) The mother of the groom, wishing to have a share in the celebrations that somehow approaches the role of the bride’s mother, offeres to host a reception dinner and sends her own formal invitations
Mrs Maidenname FIlast
request the pleasure of the company of
Mr and Mrs Guest
to Dinner in honour of
Miss DaquiriS Lastname
and her son
FIfirst … &tc
3) The father of the groom and his wife, if they wish to get their names up in lights, have to offer to host something themselves. An engagement party would have been nice, but it’s a bit late. Maybe an “at Home” in your honour when you get back from your honeymoon.
If that’s not enough recognition to keep all parents happy, you can add in small print at the foot of the programme, list everyone: “DaquiriS is the daughter of Dad Lastname and Mom Lastname. FI is the son of FIMom Lastname; and is the son of FIdad Lastname and stepson of FIstepmom Lastname”. You can even put this in small print at the bottom of the invitation, or even just use “courtesy listings” in the right bottom corner of the invitation listing all five names one above the other. In these less-formal entries you can choose to use titles or not, first names or not, whatever your parents all prefer.
Post # 6
@PitBulLover – Great idea. I think I might use that for both our parents are divorced!
Post # 7
If FH’s parent is paying for the rehearsal and a few small things, she can send invites for the rehearsal saying “Me, mother of ____ invite you”
We kept my FH’s parents off the invites. His mom did not want to be on them without my FH’s dad – the are in the process of getting a divorce and there are so many issues I can’t even describe. Our invite was:
Dad and Mom JinDC (first names)
Inte you to share in their joy
at the marriave of their daughter
Me (first and middle name) to Him (full name)
date, time, location
Post # 8
i like how you did it with separate names on the same line
Post # 9
Thanks everyone for your suggestions and input. Will be talking to FI about it probably tomorrow and then his mom in the next two weeks.
Btw, my mom said she did not care how it was worded. I am the one with the issues. I was also under the impression that the names also served the purpose of “who is this invitation from?…oh, so and so’s kid.”
Post # 10
OH my this is so up my alley of a question too! What do you do when both of the grooms parents are remarried! I believe that my parents are paying for most of it while his mom and step-dad along with his Dad and Step-mother will pay for the rehershal dinner. I don’t have a clue how to do our invites b/c i don’t want to list everyone, but I know that I might offend my Fiance and his mom. I always thought it was an introduction of who’s who too. I didn’t know that it’s whom is paying for wedding.
His mom’s name is Judy, his step-dad (whom he’s closer to) is Rich
His dad’s name is Robert M. Sr. and step-mom Judy.
So I don’t want to put Mr. & Mrs. Brides parents
invite you to attend
Bride & Groom
along with Mr. & Mrs. Groom’s mom and husband name; and Mr. & Mrs. Grooms dad and wife name.
It’s just TOO long! what can I do??
Post # 11
We are going to do “Together with thier families” and then just put both of our names. My parents are both divorced and remarried, and we are paying for 90% of the wedding ourselves. Just a suggestion, although I understand if you have your heart set on includeing everyone’s name.