(Closed) Invitation wording – help!!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3783 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

If you search the archives you’ll find a lot of advice on this topic.

Popular wording include “along with their families” which covers your specific problem and inludes you too.

Post # 4
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

 @ladyartichoke:  is right, there are several posts about this.  But since you asked, and it’s sometimes a little bit hard to find just what you’re looking for – especially when you’re new-ish to the boards, I hope the following will help.

The hostess & host are the people who invite the guests and are responsible for making sure that everybody who is invited is comfortable, and won’t be exposed to any objectionable people at the event. – They’re vouching for every single person in attendance.  Traditionally a woman cannot host an event with someone to whom she is not married; and there will only be one hostess (and possibly her husband).

The hostess (& host) are NOT necessarily the people who pay for (or pay for the largest part of) an event.

The traditional wording would be:

Mr. and Mrs. John Doe
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Lolly-k Sue
Edward Jonathan Smith
on Saturday, February 2
at half past five o’clock 
123 Main Street
Wisteria, California

If you wanted to, you could add the line(s): son of Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Smith (with a potential line break after “son of” if the formatting works better for you) after the name of the groom to be. If you include his parents names, leave off his last name, unless it is different than theirs.  This clarifies who, exactly, Edward is – in case a distant relative, or a parent’s friend won’t recognize his name without knowing whose son he is.

And if your wedding ceremony will take place at a church you use “honor of your presence” – if the marriage takes place anywhere else you ask for “the pleasure of your company”.

But… you probably care a little bit less about traditional hosting, and are asking about a “nice” way to recognize the support that your parents are providing. (Support, not money, since finances aren’t discussed – or alluded to – in polite company!)

In that case you can go with the popular (and only grudgingly accepted by the traditionalists) option of hosting the event yourselves.  You can leave off the parents completely, add a line “Together with their parents” or use something along the lines of the following (which names the parents):

Lolly-k Sue
Edward Jonathan Smith
Together with their parents
Mr. and Mrs. John Doe
Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Smith
invite you to share in the joy
when they exchange marriage vows
and begin their new life together
Saturday, February 2
half past five o’clock 
123 Main Street
Wisteria, California

I used the following wording (our families don’t normally have very formal gatherings, so it was more “genuine” in our situation to use less formal wording, so we used first-person pronouns and went with given names, not social titles for our parents. Though we asked which they preferred & would have happily gone with titles if they wanted them.) 

Together with our parents
Papa and Mama Moon
Father and Mother Lastname
Umbrella Ann and John Henry
invite you to share in the joy
of our new life together
when we exchange marriage vows
Saturday, August 11
at 11:30 in the morning 
Venue Name, Portland Maine

 (Edited for formatting & spelling. Oops!)

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