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Invitation wording opinions please!

posted 9 months ago in Etiquette
  • 1 Members Subscribed To Topic
  • poll: how does the wording look?
    perfect! : (1 votes)
    25 %
    I would change..(tell me what to change)! : (3 votes)
    75 %
  •  
    1.
    Member
    207 posts
    Helper bee
    rachel3212    January 28, 2012   Alabama

    Hi bees! I'm getting ready to order my invitations and I'm just wondering if the wording sounds okay. My parents are divorced, but they are both splitting the cost of the wedding. I have read that you are supposed to put the mother first, is this correct? Both of my parents are also remarried, but I wasn't planning on putting thier spouses names on the invites, is that okay? Here is what I'm thinking:

    Mrs. Brides' mom full name

    Mr. Brides' dad full name

    Request the honor of your presence

    At the marrige of their daughter

    Rachel3212

    to

    FI full name

    Saturday, the twenty eight of January (should the "t" in twenty and the "e" in eighth be capitalized?)

    Two Thousand and Twelve

    At Four O'Clock in the Afternoon

    Church name

    Chruch location

    Reception to follow at name of venue

    name of location

    Please R.S.V.P. by (not sure when yet!) on our website

    www.theknot.com/ourwedding

     

    I'm not sure about how things should be capitalized and is it okay to put the last part about RSVP on the website or should I do that on a seperate card? Please let me know what you think I shoud change! Thanks bees!

     

     
    2.
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    585 posts
    Busy bee
    cubicalmouse    December 17, 2011   Los Angeles

    @rachel3212:  One question - who is paying for this? That is very important in wording.

     
    3.
    Member
    585 posts
    Busy bee
    cubicalmouse    December 17, 2011   Los Angeles

    @rachel3212:  If just your parents are paying, I would actually say the following, AND I would put the RSVP info on a seperate card.  Changes are in bold.  I'm assuming your parents are divorced?

    Mrs. Brides' mom full name and Mr. Brides' dad full name

    Request the honor of your presence

    At the marriage of their daughter

    Rachel3212

    to

    FI full name

    son of FI's parents names

    Saturday, the twenty-eighth of January

    In the year of our Lord two thousand twelve

    At four o'Clock in the afternoon

    Church name

    Church location

    Reception to follow at name of venue

    Reception Venue Address

     
    4.
    Member
    142 posts
    Blushing bee
    mrs.josh    November 5, 2011   Lake County, Il

    Although my dad isn't helping to pay for our wedding, we just put "'Mrs. Josh" and "Mr. Josh", together with their parents, request the honor of your presence....."

    I beleive it should read- "Saturday, the Twenty Eighth of January"

    And also, leave out the "and" in the year. It should be "Two Thousand Twelve"

     

    Hope that helps!

     
    5.
    Member
    585 posts
    Busy bee
    cubicalmouse    December 17, 2011   Los Angeles

    And actually, if your parents are divorced, I think your dad's name comes first.  And if any new spouses are contributing financially, I think their names should be on it.

     
    6.
    Member
    3,590 posts
    Sugar bee
    CupCakeMeg    December 18, 2011   Orange County, CA

    Always thought it was Mr. & Mrs. Dad's First Name and Last Name....

    This is mine:

    Mr.  & Mrs. Daddy Salera III

    (this is my stepdad; who I consider my father)

    request the honour of your presence

    at the wedding of their daughter

    CupCakeMeg
    to 
    CupCakeMr

    son of Ms. Momma Long

    and Mr. Stepdad  IV

    (they aren't and never married but FI consideres him Dad)

    Sunday, the eighteenth of December 
    two thousand twelve
    at five-thirty in the evening.

    Location Name
    City, State

     
    7.
    Member
    585 posts
    Busy bee
    cubicalmouse    December 17, 2011   Los Angeles

    @CupCakeMeg: It is, unless the parents are divorced.  That's what it sounds like, since she left the names seperate. 

    If the parents are married, it is "Mr. & Mrs. John Doe."

    If the parents are divorced, it is "Mr. John Doe & Ms. Jane Smith" (or "Mrs. Jane Doe" if she did not revert to her maiden name).

     
    8.
    Member
    2,569 posts
    Sugar bee
    iheartnerds    October 9, 2011   Massachusetts

    My only comment is regarding the RSVP info. If it isn't too much of a pain for you, I would put the RSVP info on a separate card, because that's what people will be looking for, and I think having it on the main invitation would look a bit cluttered. :)

     
    9.
    Member
    207 posts
    Helper bee
    rachel3212    January 28, 2012   Alabama

    @cubicalmouse:

    I thought I put this in the post but maybe not. My parents are divorced but they are splitting the cost equally

     
    10.
    Member
    207 posts
    Helper bee
    rachel3212    January 28, 2012   Alabama

    @cubicalmouse:

    I thought I put this in the post but maybe not. My parents are divorced but they are splitting the cost equally

     
    11.
    Member
    585 posts
    Busy bee
    cubicalmouse    December 17, 2011   Los Angeles

    @rachel3212: If the parents are divorced, your father's name comes first, followed by your mother's.

    Also, according to Emily Post, you do not need to put "In the afternoon" following the time.  Additionally, if your last name is the same as your father's OR your mother's, you should not put your last name.

     
    12.
    Member
    207 posts
    Helper bee
    rachel3212    January 28, 2012   Alabama

    @cubicalmouse

    @cubicalmouse:

    they are divorced and are both remarried so my mom has a different last name then me. I was thinking that the dad's name came first, but occording to Martha Stewart, the mom's name comes first when you parents are divorced and the names should be on seperate lines with no "and". I thought this was kind of weird tho, this is why I made the post. Thanks for the help!

     
    13.
    Member
    585 posts
    Busy bee
    cubicalmouse    December 17, 2011   Los Angeles

    @rachel3212: I guess Emily Post and Martha Stewart disagree!  Emily Post is much more old fashioned.  Good luck!

     
    14.
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    656 posts
    Busy bee
    aspasia475    January 1, 2015  

    Well, I wasn't going to chime in because what you started out with is fine with the exception of a few minor details --  and a one fundamental major faux pas to my mind that nonetheless falls into the "Oh, honestly Auntie, everybody does it!" category (and no, it isn't the website R.s.v.p.: with that, I have no problem.) But since I'd argue with some of the details other folk find worth commenting on, I'm going to weigh in.

    So. Basic principles of formal good form: "less is more",  honest English phrases are more refined than foreign phrases, George Routledge and the original Emily trump both Martha and the current Post Institute, and a lady's name is never written up jointly with a man's name unless she is married to him.

    You wrote:

    Mrs. Brides' mom full name

     

    Mr. Brides' dad full name

     -- this is the best you can do if your father insists on being named: separate lines and no "and" so as to avoid implying that the two hosts are married. Most properly, he would kindly transfer funds to your mother to allow her to host your wedding in style while gallantly remaining in the background -- hardly a twenty-first century trait however admirable such gallantry would be. And besides, as I have been told, "everybody does it".

     

    Request the honor of your presence -- you don't need to capitalize "Request" as it is in the middle of a sentence

     

    At the marrige of their daughter

     

    Rachel3212 -- you get to use your middle name or names here, if you wish

     

    to

     

    FI full name -- since this gentleman is unrelated to the hosts, who refer to themselves by surnames and titles, the hosts would graciously acknowledge his title too, and refer to him as "Mr FI full name"

     

    Saturday, the twenty eight of January (should the "t" in twenty and the "e" in eighth be capitalized?) -- you don't need the comma after Saturday, you do need a hyphen and an "h" in "twenty-eighth", and no, you do not capitalize the "e". In keeping with the whole "less is more" theme, you absolutely do NOT need to add "in the year of Our Lord".

     

    Two Thousand and Twelve -- nor do you capitalize the numbers in "two thousand twelve as they are not proper nouns and are in the middle of a sentence, and you can do without the extra "and".

     

    At Four O'Clock in the Afternoon -- unless your friends could imagine you getting married at four o'clock in the morning, you can forego the "in the Afternoon", and as above since none of these are proper nouns, they aren't capitalized.

     

    Church name

     

    Chruch location

    Reception to follow at name of venuename of location -- these two lines can go in smaller letters in lower left if you are running out of space; and you don't need to say "to follow" as that is implicit.

     

    Please R.S.V.P. by (not sure when yet!) on our website -- Less is more, remember? If you are not going to use the English "The favor of a reply is requested by <date>", then just use "R.s.v.p. / www.theknot.com/ourwedding / by <date>" in small letters in the lower right corner. Don't go for the extra reception card; it is unnecessary, and therefore overblown, and therefore pretentious.

     
    15.
    Member
    207 posts
    Helper bee
    rachel3212    January 28, 2012   Alabama

    @aspasia475:

    Thank you so so so so much! I totally agree with everything that you said!

     

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