(Closed) Invitation Wording (parental drama)

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2013

just wondering, how did you end up wording the invitations? i have a similar situation. would appreciate your help!!

Post # 4
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@jenc3289:  Not sure if this helps but here is the wording I had for my invites.

 

Post # 5
Member
1696 posts
Bumble bee

My browser has now crashed twice trying to type this in. I suspect that the Internet itself is crusading against social graciousness.

@jenc3289:  

Traditionally, the hostess’s name goes at the top of the invitation, together with the name of her husband if she has one. Being the hostess is more than just paying for things. The hostess puts her social reputation on the line to assure guests that they will be properly cared for: provided with food and drink, sheltered from the weather and offered comfortable seating, pleasantly entertained, and not introduced to dangers or unpleasant strangers. She takes all the responsibilty, and therefore has the final decision on anything related to hospitality — which does not include people’s clothing or the photographic record of the event so those things and their costs are completely irrelevant. Usually the hostess incurrs some costs in fulfilling her responsibilities, and by law anyone who contracts for goods and services is liable to pay the costs. However in polite society others may offer to cover the hostess’s costs for her, and since one does not discuss ones financial arrangements in polite society let alone advertise them broadly in print, those offers do not affect the wording of the invitations.

Who is it taking on those responsibilities and making the final decisions? My guess is that it is you. If so, since you are not yet married, your name would appear at the top of the invitation, in the following form:

Miss Jen Ceethreetwoeightnine
 requests the pleasure of the company of
<Blank line to write in guests’ names>
at her wedding to

Mr Talland Handsome
on Saturday the seventh of September &tc…

No parent’s names in that, at all. But formal events can be made to flow more smoothely by having someone playing the guest-of-honour role, and no polite hostess would ever throw an event in honour of herself. A hostess include the Guests’ of Honour names on the invitation, either in the body of the invitation proper, or by listing them in the lower right corner of the invitation that is reserved for additional information, such as “dancing” if you wish guests to wear appropriate shoes and be prepared to stay until midnight, or “Adults Only” or “Business Casual” if you feel the need to state such things. In the lower right hand corner you simply write “In honour of our parents / Mr and Mrs Dadsname Ceethreetwoeightnine / Mr and Mrs Hisdadsname Handsome“. If you want to include them in the body of the invitation you write:

Miss Jen Ceethreetwoeightnine
requests the pleasure of the company of
<Blank line to write in guests’ names>
at her marriage to
Mr Talland Handsome
and to meet our parents
Mr Yourdadname Ceethreetwoeightnine and Mrs UsesHerFirst Ceethreetwoeightnine

and
Mr and Ms Hisdadname Handsome
on Saturday the seventh of September &tc…

or the daringly non-standard and grammatically awkward, but still proper and gracious

In honour of their parents
Mr and Mrs Yourdadname Ceethreetwoeightnine
and 
Ms Theydivorced Handsome

Mr Hisdadname Handsome

Miss Jen Ceethreetwoeightnine

requests the pleasure of the company of
<Blank line to write in guests’ names>
at her wedding to
Mr Talland Handsome
on Saturday the seventh of September &tc…

This last has the virtue of letting your mother have her name first without suggesting that she is the one to blame if there are not enough chairs to go around and Cousin Suzie is introduced to a bounder who elopes with her while the rest of the family is at church the following morning.

 

 

Post # 6
Member
1696 posts
Bumble bee

And I have no idea why that last “Miss Jen Ceethreetwoeightnine”  did not get bolded and italicized, but after my struggles to get that post in at all(!) I am not going to attempt to edit it!

 

aspasia

Post # 7
Member
1696 posts
Bumble bee

 Or maybe I will try, given that it also swallowed a whole paragraph in the middle.

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