Post # 1
I have a dilema… I have always been very firm in my mind that the invite to our wedding would be from myself and my fiance with NO mention of parents … we are receiving NO financial help from either side (this is a bit of a sore spot) … I feel that whoever is listed an being an “invitor” gives credit to PAYING/CONTRIBUTING to the wedding finances … it’s not “us and our parents” paying it is ALL US. My fiance feels that since the ceremony and reception is located at my parent’s house we should include “together with their parents” on the invite … what are your opinions?
Second part to the question … you generally list the venue name on the invite … i.e. “Millenium Park” … would it be enough credit to list the venue as “The Residence of x & y” (everyone knows it is at my parents house).
Post # 3
Well, technically your parents are giving you the use of their home, which is a contribution although perhaps not financially. But as a compromise to not putting their names at the top, put that piece about The Residence of x & y. That’s probably what I would do.
Post # 4
To me- those names at the top “give credit” to those who are hosting. In this case I would certainly say your parents are hosting your guests as the wedding is at their house.
Post # 5
It is incorrect that hosting and bill paying must be connected. Sometimes they are, but it is not a requirement. To me, the support, love, and resources of a lifetime are enough to warrant the honor if a couple is so moved.
Post # 6
To me, the support, love, and resources of a lifetime are enough to warrant the honor if a couple is so moved.
^ This pretty much. I always find it a tiny bit sad when the couple doesn’t include their parents on the invite and they are on good terms.
Post # 7
I’m leaving that off entirely on the few invites I send out. So many invites I see are talking about joining of families and such. Our families have never even met! So I definitely think it’s not a requirement to include mention of parents on invites.
Post # 10
@see_22: I think including their names on the location info is nice, and fine.
We are not planning to include host info on the invitation (AKA along the lines of “the honor of your presence is requested for the marriage of…” Instead of a host line, plus invitation line. I took it from a Martha Stewart example, so I feel like it’s ok etiquette wise. My parents are paying for the ceremony and his the rehearsal dinner, but we are paying the bulk, at least 90%… And it just felt like a host line would make someone feel bad.
Post # 11
You have to do what you feel is right. If it feels wrong to “falsely” credit them with hosting, leave their names off. If this will cause a huge fight with your families, it’s not worth it. Trust me – there is enough drama that goes down with wedding planning, you don’t need another fight or issue to stress about. If you think your parents won’t be offended, then do it the way you had planned.
Post # 12
I don’t automatically assume the parents contribute if they’re listed. Plus, it sounds like your parents are contributing their home.
If you feel uncomfortable you could always say “together with their families” so they’re there but not explicitly listed.
Post # 13
I think the use of the house is a contribution. I am so very sorry you mention that the lack of a financial support is a sore spot. Some parents may not have the money to help, and I personally do not think parents should raid their retirement money or college savings for a younger sibling to help with a wedding. Your parents providing use of the house is to me indicative of support of the wedding and marriage. I think you should reconsider using their house if you do not regard it as a contribution.
I have seen the following on invites
Mr and Mrs Brides Parents
request the blah blah blah
at the marriage of
the son of Mr and Mrs Grooms Parents
This implies to me that the brides parents are hosting, but is respectful to grooms parents.
Post # 14
I think you should do whatever you really want to do. Either way would be fine to do. If it were me, I would include parent’s names because my parents were giving the use of their home, but it’s your call!
Post # 15
Are your parents charging you a fee to use their home? If not, I would consider that a contribution. However, you don’t have to include them on the invite if you don’t want to. Instead of “the residence of John and Mary Williams” you could write “the Williams’ Home” or “the Williams Residence.”
@juanita.kelly.9: or some parents who have the extra money (wouldn’t effect retirement or other kid’s collegefunds etc) just don’t want to pay for a wedding. It’s their choice.
Post # 16
I was in my 20s the first time I married and we had no financial help from any of our parents. We still had “together with their parents” because we love them and they raised us.