Post # 1
I have two invitation etiquette questions.
[First let me start off by saying that we are including the +1’s names on the RSVP card and envelope.]
1) We have a friend with two girlfriends. How on earth do we politely ask which of his two ladies he’ll be bringing?
2) Two people have asked if they can bring a friend. We’re OK with this, but neither knows who they plan on bringing and we want to include a name. We also need names since our venue is within a historical society who wants the names of those attending, not to mention for the seating chart.
I appreciate any feedback!
Post # 3
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
1) Send it to Mr. Two Girlfriends and Guest and then on the response card he should name who he’s bringing.
2) Give them a deadline and they have to tell you the name of their guest by that day otherwise you’re gonna be stuck with Guest of Mr. FriendWhoWantedAGuest on the placecard. (Plus do you need to know what the guests would want to eat?)
Post # 4
@mchitt329: No, we’re having an appetizer buffet, so we don’t need to match meal to person.
Post # 5
Seriously 2 gfs? He’s obviously not even remotely serious about either of them.
I would tell those that are requesting being allowed to bring friends as well as this guy with 2 gfs that they either provide you with the names of their intended dates by the time your invites need to go out, no alterations allowed afterwards, or they don’t get to bring dates.
That way you are haven’t to deal with any stress related to them himming and hawing about who to bring and you can get your seating charts and guest lists in in a timely manner.
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
@BetterSherm: Is your friend in one relationship with both women – or is your friend in two separate relationships?
I only ask because if it is the former, then all three should be invited?
For your second question, I would write “and guest” and then when they RSVP they should write the name of their guest…that’s normal, and you usually don’t do seating until after you get the RSVPs, not when you send out the invitation.
Post # 7
@BetterSherm: Usually the +1/guests are decided closer to the wedding (so much can change!) and it’s customary to have their name on the RSVP card (not the invite).
If you don’t get a name back on the RSVP card – that’s when you ask.
Post # 9
@BetterSherm: Is 2 Girlfriends Guy polyamorous or just playing the field? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a polyamorous guest etiquette issue on these boards — I bet people’s minds would be blown.
@mchitt329 is totally right, though, if he’s just dating around — “and Guest” him (and the others) and let them know in an email, text, whatever, that you’ll need to know the name by X date. Who knows? Maybe 2 Girlfriends Guy will meet a third woman and be exclusive by your wedding! 🙂
Post # 10
@Mrs. Hermit Crab: He’s in two seperate relationships.
Post # 11
Thanks for the feedback, everyone! FI wants to message everyone beforehand so we can get their +1’s names. Our friends are the type to never make up their minds over who they’ll bring if we give them such freedom as to wait to tell us!
As of right now, the friend with two girlfriends is in a seperate relationship with each and neither know about the other (how, I have no idea), so I really don’t want to cause drama nor have drama thrust upon us with this!
Post # 12
As an update, the guest with two girlfriends, upon me asking, said he’d prefer us to leave it blank for him to fill in, because he may want to bring someone other than the two of them! Ugh. Whatever. I’ll leave it blank for him to fill in for himself.
Post # 14
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
Damn! I wouldn’t give him a plus one…he’d probably find someone to hook up with at the wedding, lol.
Post # 15
@prisigtr: That’s pretty much what I was going to say! lol!
@BetterSherm: Mr. TwoGirlfriends gets an invite for himself only, IMO. As for the friends, you can just address it to the singular friend and on the RSVP have a blank space for the name (if they respond without a name, their plus cannot come in since the historical society probably won’t allow it) and on the invite inside write [friend’s name] and 1 Guest so that they also know it is a single person they are allowed to bring.
People should not have issues with providing guests names though, as it is common courtesy! Just as long as you give them a date that is say, 2 months before the wedding as a cut-off, you should be okay with everything.