- 7 years ago
So, we got a wedding invtiation from a friend of ours a couple weeks ago, and I was chatting with Mr. LR’s college roommate’s fiance (I hope that made sense) this past weekend about the upcoming wedding. She told me it wasn’t proper etiquirte to include the groom’s parents anywhere on the invitation if they are not contributing to the wedding. She said it’s not fair to the bride’s parents for the groom’s family to get their names on two invitations. She said the groom’s parents tradtionally host and pay for the rehearsal dinner, with no mention of the bride’s parents, and the bride’s parents traditionally host and pay for the wedding.
I’ve seen a lot of posts on here about being fair to parents on the invitations, and it’s not really something I had thought about until the past week or so. I personally think the best way to be fair to both sets of parents (if the groom’s parents are only paying for the rehearsal dinner and the bride’s parents are only paying for the wedding) to do like my friend said and then thank both sets of parents for all their love, support, etc. etc. mushy mush in the programs. They both get their “moment” and equally all our love in the program.
I was talking to Mr. LR about all this, and he was like “well why can’t my parents be on the invitation? That’s such an antiquated and old fashioned rule, and it doesn’t seem fair.” I responded with “Well, then your parents will need to split the wedding costs with my parents because MY parents, who will be footing the entire bill for our wedding, will take MAJOR offense to that.” My parents are AMAZING, and I am so thankful they have always taken care of me and my brother. They really give way more than they should, so please don’t think I’m ungrateful or bratty. They have always said they want to pay for my wedding, and I am definitely appreciative of this. I think my parents deserve all the glory for hosting and paying for my wedding. Not that Mr. LR’s parents aren’t just as great, but I fully believe my parents should get the credit for the wedding and they should get the credit for the rehearsal dinner.
Well, here comes the tricky part. My darling Mr. LR realized why the “rule” is there, and he now completely agrees. To throw a wrench into making everything pretty black and white, Mr. LR says he’s pretty sure he will be paying for our rehearsal dinner on his own. This isn’t something I necessarily believe his parents will actually let happen. He’s an only child, and they are just the sweetest people. They give him all they can, and I am 99.999999% positive they will want to do something special for us because they are just so great. However, if it were to happen, what would be the correct way to go about it? Whether his parents decide to contribute to the RD or not is their perrogative, and we would be grateful for any help. BUT, technically, Mr. LR would be hosting/paying the rehearsal dinner on his own, and he should get the credit for it. I wouldn’t want to upset my wonderful in-laws, and they will obviously be lovingly mentioned in the program, but I just don’t think it is appropriate to have their name on the invitation as the “hosts” if they are not the ones paying for it or contributing any amount of money (obviously a different story if they contribute any money to the RD at all). I think it would be a slap in the face to Mr. LR, who would be paying for all of it himself.
Now, this is just a hypothetical situation that will probably NOT happen. Mr. LR was just being difficult, and I seriously can’t imagine his parents will not want to host the RD. However, I want to know what YOU think about this possible/not probable situation.
Also, what was your invitation experience? Who did you list as the host? Was there any drama? What do YOU think is proper etiquitte?