Post # 1
So we bought our invitations from Michaels….all 210 of them. My FI who works for a paper store is having one of his customers print them for us. I was really excited as he was giving us a great deal.
Now fast forward to Tuesday of this week when I asked FI to call the printer and see if they were done. Now mind you, he’s now had them for a week. Well he called and he got no answer and no call back. So I asked him to call again on Wednesday, again no answer and no call back, even after leaving a message. Now today is Thursday and I had him call him again. As of noon we still had not heard anything. Finally around 2, the printer called back and said he had to talk to his pressman to see if they were finished or not, and he would get back to us. Well now it is 4 and he just called back and said we will have them by tomorrow.
I was extremelty frustrated at the whole situation! All FI would say is why are you being so mean to me? Why are you freaking out, it’s just invitations!?!? I wanted my invitations, or at least an answer. For me not knowing is the worst thing ever! Had he of told us on Tuesday we would have them on Friday, I would have been fine. My FI can’t figure out why I am upset with him. All he kept saying was I’m waiting for him to call. I repeatedly reminded him that we are going to my mom’s this weekend (my mom lives out of state) and the MOH, my mom, my sister, and my gram and great gram were coming over to put the invites together so we could send them. My wedding is on May 16th, and the RSVP date is Aprill 22. So yes, I was freaking out, because if we didn’t have them this weekend I would have had to put them together by myself and it would have taken longer for me to get them out!
Sorry, just had to vent!!Good news is I will have them on time. I sure hope everything looks ok b/c I didn’t get a proof, and I have no time for reprints!
Was I being mean to him? What do you ladies think
Post # 3
I wouldn’t say that you are bridezilla… but you may want to take a deep breath. The whole wedding planning thing can be very stressful, and if you let every situation like this get to you then you will become a walking stress case! Trust me– I did it! Keep in mind that most invitation turn around times are over 4 weeks – -it took 5 weeks to get mine. So, you are still on schedule, right? Look on the bright side!
Post # 4
Yikes…that’s close timing. I hope you get them in time!
Question – were you being mean to your Fi? You didn’t mention anything mean you did to him here (but I often conveniently leave that part out too…:)
Based on what you’ve said I don’t think your Fi did anything wrong – it sounds like he did everything you asked of him. The printer was the one that was non responsive (you get what you pay for), not your Fi, so go easy on him.
Having things be up in the air or get thrown off schedule really stresses me out too. I always have to remind myself (and don’t always do such an admirable job) to not snap on people because I’m not handeling the pressure well. Ultimately it wont help. If you don’t get them on time it SUCKS (especially because I’m sure that putting them together with your family would be a speical moment) but worse things could happen and they’ll still get done one way or another.
Post # 5
I wasn’t mean to him. I was just a little edgy, and I’m usually a happy go lucky type. My issue wasn’t so much that they took 2 weeks, but that he said they would take a few days. All he had to do is shoot the plate and print. After a week, I just wanted to know the status, and since it was FI decision to use this printer, I was a little pushy on him to call him (he kept forgetting). I guess I was upset because he didn’t think it was a big deal and didn’t understand why I wanted to know the status, and he definately doesn’t understand the timeline. We are fine now, but I just don’t want to come off as the "bridezilla" as he called me for the first time. It stung a bit!!!
Post # 6
I think you might have overreacted a little, but I’ve been there! Wedding planning means emotions run high. Apologize for being short with him and tell him that it wasn’t fair for you to freak out and take it out on him.
Then next time there’s a bump in the road try to keep it in perspective.
Glad you finally got a response and my fingers are crossed that they will be in the mail on Monday without further hassle!
Post # 7
Well, I think Bridezilla is uncalled for for sure. For goodness sakes, you were just trying to get something done!
God, I hate that term. Honestly, I am the type to stess out about details whether it’s a wedding or not! Why do we all of a sudden have to label women in such a demeaning way!?!
Post # 8
Take a deep breath. I would recommend taking an evening to do something nice together with no wedding planning or wedding discussion involved. I recently ran into an issue with my fiance after trying to just squeeze too much wedding stuff into one week. When I suggested spending the little free time we did have together going to register at another store, he gently reminded me that he would like to spend some time with his fiance with no wedding talk involved.
Remember to listen to your fiance.. most guys are not quite into wedding planning the same way the brides are, so the minor details are usually seen as minimally important. Take a minute to see it from his perspective and enjoy the fact that everything turned out alright.
I don’t think you’re being a bridezilla, however. I think the wedding stress just overwhelmed you for a bit (like it has for a majority of the rest of us!).
Post # 9
Just wanted to give everyone an update…so my FI and I were at marriage counseling today FI owned up to the fact that he didn’t even call the printer until Thursday!!
To top everything off, I was so excited to get my invites yesterday, only when FI called to say he had them, he also said "Now your going to flip out but…." my invites were printer wrong..ALL WRONG! The invite was shrunk and printed on the RSVP card, and the RSVP card was printed and the invite sheet and cut to size!
The printer did offer to replace everything on him, but that would be like $210 for him to do that. So I’m being kind and going to just get some nice cardstock and re-do everything!
Post # 10
Wow- What an ordeal! I bet your fh is sitting there saying to himself silently ‘as if this invite thing couldn’t get any worse… I am going to have to tell her they weren’t printed right… <sigh>!’
I don’t even know what I would have done if I were in your shoes- I might have burst into tears quite frankly…. even though they are just invites. But the whole story leading up to it, and the follow up- not to mention the marriage session!!!! Ugh.
I think you deserve a brownie point for chillness. =o)
Post # 11
Was that the printer’s mistake or your FI? If it was the printer’s fault, you may either ask for a refund or free reprints. If it was your FI’s fault, you may want to talk to your printer and ask nicely if he can help you fast-forward your invites. This time you ask for proofs and do the follow-ups yourself.
ALWAYS, always ask for contract and proofs. This saves lots of time, money and frustration in the end.
Keep your cool. This is maybe a sign of your FI’s working ethics. Can you deal with this or you want to change this? Whatever the outcome, learn from this then move on.
Post # 12
I think he just simply used a buzzword that’s a sign of the times..bridezilla. He probably felt pressured somehow (not sure how though..just phone calls were made mind you) and used the catchphrase to negatively describe any bride these days. I personally think you deserve the medal of honor for behaving so nicely after they messed up over 200 bucks of invites. A bridezilla would walk to the printer, ask to see the manager, and hit him with her purse!
Maybe he should be shown the show "bridezillas" so he can understand how he has such a wonderful woman with him who is anything but a bridezilla! That should stop his useage of the silly "buzzword".
When you talk to guys, for some crazy reason, they respond when we leave emotions out of stuff and tasks are discussed in a business manner. I once read this in a book and when I have to do things with T and I get frustrated, I discuss the task at hand and keep my emotions in check and he always "gets it". I think a little communication about "work" (invites) is all that’s needed. Explain that it will be more work for both of you if the printers do not get their job completed in a reasonable time frame. It seems men are more task oriented than we are, and get completely flustered sometimes when we respond with emotions. Some of them just have a hard time dealing with that.
Post # 13
@HWS-my fiance works for a large paper company who sells to retail, schools, local gov’t, and local printers. So this particular printer was a customer of his and was doing him a "favor" and doing it at a discounted rate to begin with. He printed FSIL invites a year and a half ago and they turned out wonderfuly with no problems. So being that this was his customer, as FI put it "I don’t want to bug and pester him with questions". This is just his personality-the I know they will get here and be ok. We work well together for situations like this, he’s it’ll get done when it gets done and i admit i’m impatient, and we usually compromise on a pretty good happy medium! Also, it was the printers fault and he got confused-but he should have called me or FI as he was given both phone #’s in case of that!
@bellenga-I did have quite a bit of emotion, I was just plain frustrated that it took 2 weeks to print them. FI and I met while working for the same company, a large paper company who sells to local printers, so I know what the turn-around time is. When he called that Friday and told me, then tried to explain how the printer was going to fix the issue which I couldn’t even comprehend at the time. I just told FI "I can’t talk about this right now, I need a minute to take this all in, I’ll call you back in a bit". I then called my mom and freaked out, she laughed and we discussed what would be the best way to "fix" everything!!
On a brighter note, everything took a little longer to get out then I had hoped and we were about 2 weeks behind in sending them out, but everything worked out! I’m starting to get RSVP’s in the mail, which happened so quick!! I sent them out on a Wed. and got RSVP the following Monday, did anyone else that quick of a turn around???
Post # 14
Not knowing is the worst thing for someone planning their wedding. We had our engagement pics taken 3 weeks ago and we still haven’t heard back from them. We are waiting for them so we can send some along with our invitations that we are sending overseas since some of the relatives have never met us. I’ve even emailed my photographer and asked if maybe he can send just a couple so we can get the invites sent. Still no answer….it IS frustrating!!!