Invite advice

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@riteurken:  if someone were that rude about my FI, they certainly wouldn’t be my friend anymore!! People accept FI and I come as a package. Why are you still friends with her if she treats your FI like that?!

Post # 4
Member
8418 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@riteurken:  If she already received an invite, uninviting her now might make things worse.  Honestly, it’s a really difficult situation.  Is there any way you could just talk to her about this behavior?  Without knowing why she dislikes your FI so much, it’s really hard to say.

Post # 5
Member
356 posts
Helper bee

@riteurken:  Honestly, I would just come out and say “I’ve been hearing things, and if you can’t support my wedding, then maybe you shouldn’t come”. It sounds like she has a pretty aggresive personality, but its not fair for you to have a “friend” that talks that kind of trash behind your back.

Post # 6
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

Eek this is a tough one. But she sounds very immature and high schoolish if she does this.

I understand your fiance wanting to univite her, but she shouldnt have been invited in the first place.

If i were you, i would sit down and chat with her. Tell her you are aware of what has been said and that if this is true and continues you dont feel comfortable with her attending. Specially that you and your FI are aware of this and are hurt.

Post # 7
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Unfortunately, it is never very good form to “uninvite” anyone although there are circumstances that can warrant it. Having said that, an “uninvitation” never helps the situation and just adds drama.

I’m just wondering why she was invited in the first place though? Or that she’d realistically expect an invitation to the wedding of someone she so clearly dislikes. If you haven’t already invited her then just don’t. She’s not owed an explanation.

 

Post # 8
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

The ship has sailed to decide whether she comes to your wedding. Uninviting her is not the right thing to do and will undoubtedly cause another round gossip. Hopefully, she declines.

You need to nip her behavior in the butt. The very next time something gets back to via third party address it. 

Post # 11
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@riteurken:  Ah that is awkward! Do you honestly see her coming if things are so tense between the 3 of you? I can’t imagine attending a wedding where that was the case if I were her!

 

 

 

Post # 13
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@riteurken:  Your wedding is still 8 months away. When did you send your STDs? 

I ask because I’m confused as to why you sent her an STD in the first place. Is this behavior a recent development? If so, do you know what prompted it?

Post # 14
Member
8418 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@riteurken:  Wow, that is SO unprofessional on her part.  Hopefully she can come to her senses and discuss things with you in a mature way, but if not, her invite could conveniently get “lost” in the mail.  Best of luck!

Post # 15
Member
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - The Fox Hill Inn

@riteurken:  Ouch, how awkward. It seems interesting the personal attacks started after you sent out STD’s. Is there perhaps some jealousy involved? (especially since she seems immature).

I’m sorry this is happening to you and you said you already tried talking to her… but perhaps trying one more time, especially if you keep hearing about it from other people. You can at least confront her about how unprofessional this is, even if you can’t get to the source of why she’s acting that way.

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