Invite Advice

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
Member
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Hozzelbear:  maybe on your save the dates you could word it as ‘wedding celebration’ instead of wording that might imply that they would be coming to see your vows . . .

Will many of your guests have to travel a long distance for the reception? i.e. plane tickets?

Post # 3
Member
11740 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Don’t lie to your friends.  I don’t care if it’s just for a short time, don’t lie to your friends.  It’s not okay, under any circumstance.Invite them to your reception, but be clear it’s the reception and that you eloped.  Deceit is not a good way to start a marriage.

Perhaps you could phrase it like, “On August 22nd, we brightened those bright lights of New York City with our love, and united in marriage.  Please join us in celebrating our marriage at ….”

Post # 4
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I don’t like the idea of making them think they’re going to a wedding then changing it up later on. For your STDs you could invite them to ‘join us to celebrate our love’ or something like that so it doesn’t indicate it’s a wedding. Then follow with the invites listing the true purpose. Although, I have to say that you will probably get questions from people about it either way so you may have to spill the beans.

Post # 5
Member
1499 posts
Bumble bee

I would be up front about it.

Modern Pink & Gray Wedding Reception Invitations

 

Post # 7
Member
11740 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ah, okay – your original post made it sound like you weren’t going to tell them until they got the invitations that you were eloping.  To me, lying by omission (by sending save the dates without saying you’re eloping) is still lying.  SO, I would send Save the Date’s for a wedding reception, and still indicate in some cutesy way that you’re already going to be married by that point.  MissLibra’s invitation that she posted above works well. 

Generally for formal events, you give 6-8 weeks to send invitations and get responses.  If you have a caterer for your event, you’ll have to find out how far in advance they need the final number.  Most require 10-14 days, and you’d want your final tally before that so you can track down non-responders. 

I wouldn’t let the first time you told someone you eloped be on the invitation to your reception.  Just don’t keep it a secret.  I think it looks gift grabby – almost like you’re saying, “Hey, I told you to save the date for my wedding, but I eloped, but come to my party anyway!”  It just seems rude to me.

Post # 8
Member
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Meh, I don’t know how this is normally done but do you really need save the dates? Why not just send invitations? 

I would be thoroughly confused if I was invited to a wedding reception and not ceremony if I didn’t know you eloped. Since no one has to arrange crazy travel arrangements (ie getting in a plane) I think it’s fine to just send invitations a few weeks early. If you don’t want to tell anyone you’re eloping and you want them to have more than 2 weeks notice, you should push back your party and have your friend mail the invites the day you get married.

Post # 10
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

MissLibra:  +1.  Any information you send out (including save the dates) should be clear that your marriage ceremony won’t be happening on the date of the reception.  If you don’t say that clearly like in the save the dates that the PP posted, it’ll be misleading (because “save the dates” are typically only for marriage ceremonies and receptions unless otherwise specified) and ppl will think you lied to them.

Post # 11
Member
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Hozzelbear:  I think you’re misunderstanding. STD’s make a lot of sense for weddings because you need to “save the date” far in advance for travel, etc.

For the reception party post elopement that you’re planning, I don’t think people need to know that far ahead of time given that no one is traveling that far and you don’t want to tell them that you’re eloping. So the only thing that makes sense to me is to not do STD’s and just send invitations as soon as you elope for your party. You can’t advertise the party without specifying the reason for the party, you know?

If you’re worried about people not having enough notice, either let them know you’re eloping ahead of time or push back your party so there is more time between the elopement and your reception. 

Post # 12
Member
47 posts
Newbee

Honestly, I think it may be a bit questionable unless you tell people your plans.  We are eloping, but it’s not going to be a secret, so that we can avoid this exact conundrum!  Three months before the wedding (when I would normally send invitations), I plan to send a “forget the date!  We’re eloping!” announcement with an invitation to the small reception afterwards.  If you want it to be a secret, I think you may just need to give them the 3.5 week’s notice, follow up by phone to try and get an RSVP (people will probably not send them back quickly enough for that time frame), and accept that some guests may have already made a prior commitment

Post # 13
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2015

One of my friends is also facing the same problem and she has discussed her problem about how to design and what to write in a card to an online wedding card shop-a2zweddingcards They have designed the card and address the situation to their guest in a great way. Now she has her reception on 2 sept.

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