Post # 1
What is the proper thing to do?? I planned on inviting two of my BM’s parents but only because one is my future sister-in-law and the others I’ve known since I was in elementary school
If I wasn’t close with them do I need to invite them or is it rude if I don’t??? One particular family of one of my girls, I have known them since we were 5 but growing up her mother wasn’t kind to me and honestly very cruel…..but should I still invite them since I’ve known them my whole life??
Too much etiquette to know!! haha
Post # 3
@samostov: no, I don’t think you need to. I am inviting one of my bridesmaids parents but no others.
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I would only invite friends’ families that you’re super close with. We’re inviting a few parents of dear friends. I certainly wouldn’t feel obligated just cause they’re your BM’s parents.
Post # 5
It’s not required. 2 of my bm are fsil’s so obviously their parents will be there, have known one my whole life so her dad and step mom are invited, but that’s it.
Post # 6
I don’t think there’s any need to invite them unless you’re close. All of my BM’s parents were invited, but that is because two were my cousins (so their parents are my aunt/uncle), my best friend growing up (so they were like a second set of parents to me), and my SIL (so obviously her mom is my MIL). But if you don’t have a relationship, I wouldn’t.
Post # 7
@samostov: Not if they are adults. Adults are independent, they do not automatically get an invite to things their parents are invited to, and by the same token their parents don’t get invites to things they are invited to.
The cruel mother doesn’t need to know that you’ve invited the other parents who you are close to.
Post # 8
@paula1248: crazy pants mom will find out because people talk but she was really mean to growing up and I honestly don’t want her there but I don’t know if its rude if I don’t invite them since I’ve known them since I was 5.
Granted we haven’t been BFFs for all 20 years of our lives since we have known each other buttt ahhh I don’t know<<<< so stressful! lol
Post # 9
@samostov: Don’t stress about it. There is no etiquette demanding you invite your BMs mom. There is nothing saying you have to invite everyone you’ve known since you were 5. Finally, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong in excluding someone who was mean to you! Don’t invite her.
I’ve known my MOH since high school, her mom is cold but not mean and I have no intention of inviting her. Never even crossed my mind. My parents were always SUPER kind to my MOH, my mom would even buy her Christmas presents every year, and she’s not inviting them to her wedding. No one thinks it’s weird or rude at all.
Post # 10
@samostov: You could avoid the dilemma by not inviting the other parents. Or if are you so close to your other friends’ parents that you can’t imagine them not coming. But that means they’re your friends in their own right, and no different from when you invite one friend’s brother/sister (because you’re close) but not everyone’s brother/sister.
BTW, something else I just noticed: if by future sister-in-law you mean your brother’s fiancee, there’s no need to invite her parents. The parents won’t actually be in your family even after they marry. (Of course if by FSIL you mean the bridesmaid is your fiance’s sister, then they’ll be there anyway!)
Post # 11
I’ve read that etiquette says that the parents of the bridal party should be invited to the wedding. But, I’m not doing that, and I don’t think most people do anymore. (I also read that etiquette says to pay for the lodging of bridal party members who are traveling from out of town to attend the wedding).