Post # 1
I read through some old threads first but thought I’d get some opinion on this. I’m inviting about 125 people to my wedding and hoping for about 90 guests (most of my family is out of town).
I work in an office with 10 people in my department. With plus ones that would be an extra 20 people. I’ve worked here 1 year. Honestly, while I like them all…I’m not really close enough to any that we do anything outside of work. Maybe once or twice a year my office has gone out for a Friday happy hour or after work “social” event. So I’ve gone out twice with them in an after-work type of way (meaning everyone is invited) over the last year but I don’t hang out with anyone other than that.
I really don’t want to invite all of them since I don’t want an extra 20 guests onto my 90 person wedding. I REALLY want it to stay under 100.
However, I do have one lady that I share an office with. I know she would really like to come and I definitely talk to her more than anyone else (she’s my office mate). Should I invite her but not anyone else? I feel like it has to be all or nothing but I’m not sure. Should I just tell her that I don’t have the space to invite everyone else and ask her to keep quite about it? I know she wouldn’t go around talking about it to everyone else if I asked her.
What do you think? Invite the 1 or none or all?
Post # 3
I said invite the one, but it is hard to vote since i don’t know your relationship with her. Do you talk about wedding stuff? Would you hang out outside of work? (maybe you should try that first).
Post # 4
Invite the one because you want her to come! This will also give you guys something to chat about and maybe spur an outside of work friendship.
But keep the wedding talk to a minimum around everyone else so they don’t feel left out.
Post # 5
@kes18: I also said invite the 1, but I had to think about it really hard. I read somewhere (Peggy Post, maybe) that no one (coworkers, acquaintances, etc.) should angle for a wedding invitation and that people should be understanding of the couple’s right to invite whomever they choose. Not everyone is going to follow this etiquette “rule,” but nevertheless, you are not doing anything wrong or rude by not inviting them; they would be the rude ones if they made a stink about it! Hopefully they will be understanding. 🙂
Post # 6
@kes18: invite the one lady. I worked at my current place of employment for about a year and a half when we got married, and I only invited one coworker. But she’s a coworker I’ve known for 13 years also and the reason I got my position here. So, while I felt bad that I didn’t invite everyone, no one batted an eye at it, and the lady I’m closest to came. All was well. 🙂
Post # 7
@Atalanta: No we don’t hang out outside of work. Basically she is 53-55 with two adult sons. So more motherly. I don’t talk about the wedding much at all but we talk about other things. She talks to me a lot about her mother’s health problems, her sons, her relationship with her husband, etc.
Basically since we’re the only 2 physically in our office (everyone else either has their own office or shares with another team member) we end up talking quite a bit…more so than I do with others since I don’t share an office with them
@futureMrsCPT: That’s awesome! I completely understand, if I had been friends with her before I worked with her I wouldn’t have even questioned it!
Post # 8
I’d invite her, sounds like you want her to come. I’m sure she’d be flattered by the invitation
Post # 9
Since there’s a clear distinction there, that you actually share an office and spend each day in the same room as her, people should understand and not feel snubbed. Depends how bitchy everyone else is, though. You could also just, the week before the wedding, give a general “ceremony only” invite to the office, informally.
But that only really works for church-type weddings; don’t know what kind you’re having.
Post # 10
@kes18: I will be inviting only one person from work. There are about 20 people who I work with, but like you, I am not close to them outside of work. I say it is your wedding, invite the one.
Post # 11
I think it’s okay to invite only one person to your wedding.
Post # 12
@Duncan: Thanks. Everyone is pretty nice but I’d probably feel bad if they all found out they weren’t invited but the 1 was. I could easily just tell her I don’t have room for everyone and ask her to not talk about it with anyone.
Definitely not a church wedding. It’s at a distillery and the ceremony and reception are in the same place (so no gap).