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I say this on a daily basis....People amaze me! Good for you and standing your ground! Aunt P. does not need to bring a friend, she will know enough people at the wedding!
"I'm just like, okay, you do that, I'll be over here on the edge of my seat until you decide"
lol love it, seriously. good on you for sticking to your guns, and glad to hear that your mom is supporting your decision!
I love how you are handling this situation. I have several relatives that I will place vegas money on that there will be something similar tried. I have one drama king uncle that pulls the passive aggressive trick all the time, and whatever, don't care, not my problem.
I hope not!!!!
I'm getting my invitations out in the next little bit, but no one better pull that stunt. I agree with how you've handled it and I like that you're not letting yourselft get walked on or bullied. Keep it up.
i have an uncle like this. i guess there's an aunt in the equation too (his wife), but i've only ever met her 3 times and certainly don't think of her as my aunt. the maturity levels of these two are scary low. i can already see him calling my grandmother and telling her they will only come if she pays for their plane tickets. i just hope she has the good sense to tell him no.
Good for you for keeping things in perspective and sticking to your guns. Some people just act a fool thinking that other people will cave. If it doesn't matter to you, just let her do what she wants and maybe she'll learn a lesson in politeness.
Thanks bees! I'm finding that there's solace in this kind of apathy.
@Lolasmomma: I know right? It would be one thing if she were from out of town and didn't know anyone, but she's going to be there with her FAMILY. Yeesh.
@NYE Gal: Luckily this was the only surprise. I hope you don't have to worry about it!
@mrstilly: That's what I figure. It's like somehow she never learned that there are consequences to her actions or something.
I think it is hilarious that your aunt is acting like a bratty child trying to go around you and make a power move decision and you are just sitting there laughing like "I don't care and you can't do anything without my approval". She's' all like "If you don't do things MY way I WONT COME!!!" And you're like "Oh, to bad. Oh well." LOL!!
Ok, correct me if I'm mistaken, but Aunt P can't afford to get there herself (which is why Aunt S is offering to pay half), yet she wants to invite someone else? Seems to me like she is taking this as a vacation for her and her friend. It's a good thing you're really not concerned, b/c I know myself, and I would lose sleep over someone playing games with me like she is. I commend you for keeping cool!
@moderndaisy: Any second I'm expecting to get a call saying "She's holding her breath until you say yes! Oh, oh she's turning BLUE" LOL, that's ok. Eventually she'll either take a breath or pass out and THEN take a breath.
@bunnyfoofoo (love the name, btw): You are correct.
The really sad thing though is that Aunt P claims that they're best friends, but the last time she was here she made arrangements to visit her friend, and then the friend told her "oh, sorry can't see you after all" because at the last minute the friend made different plans and that was the "only time" the friend could see her.
@MissHelen: haha you are just A+ in your responses. I love it. It'll be funny to see her scramble and eventually either concede or drift off into poutyland.
Hehe I agree with everyone - she's trying to completely manipulate the situation like a toddler and you're totally not get sucked into it, which is amazing. I bet you a gazillion bucks she's going to come to town with her friend, then stomp around and throw a fit and say she's not coming to the wedding, and when it has NO impact on you whatsoever, she'll make some lame excuse at the last minute about why she's had a change of heart and wants to be there. Mark my words! :)
@MissBoston: I know you're going to be right. I just KNOW it!
I really like how you're handling it. I have an uncle who is in a similar tier. He used to put up photos on the internet, even when I have repeatedly asked him not to. I didn't want to invite him to our wedding because of this (and that I think he's a $%^&&). My mom really wanted all my aunts and uncles there, and I couldn't really invite everyone but him. I told my mom the only way he would get an invite is if he didn't bring a camera. She protested and asked if he just promise not to post the pictures. I put my foot down. He came, without his camera. Then at the reception, I had table markers with letters on them that represented things important to us (A is for __). There is a picture from the photographer with him smiling, and holding the tablemarker, which he had crossed out the thing that was important to us and wrote in "O is for Obama." This is a lot worse since I HATE Obama. (No political commentary please, just making a point about him being a jerk).
Stay strong. You go girl!
(No political commentary please, just making a point about him being a jerk).
Haha. Well done with the duck and cover ;)
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Like many of you, I've regularly seen the posts about response cards that have plus ones added, names of people you don't know written, cards coming back blank, etc. Well in an effort to eliminate these issues, we printed the invited guests names on the response card for our 80 person wedding. It wasn't that much work, and I really enjoyed doing it.
Did that stop my Aunt P from scratching out my Uncles name and adding her friend whom I've never met or heard of? Nope. And neither did my Mom telling her a month ago that she couldn't do that because if my Uncle couldn't make it, I was going to invite one of my friends on the b list. So my Mom called her and told her that, again, that wasn't going to happen because it's a small wedding and if my uncle isn't going to be there that I'm going to invite a friend. Apparently she stopped listening after "no" because a few hours later Mom gets a call from my other Aunt S saying that she'll pay for the friend to come (which of course isn't the primary issue. The primary issue is space).
Now, all of this is a mild annoyance but it doesn't anger me. What miffed me a bit was the reason why Aunt S called, which is Aunt P called my 80 year old grandmother (and my namesake) and ripped her a new one. Okay...why? Apparently she thinks that Grandma can put pressure on Mom to invite her friend. Aunt P neglected to realize that I'm the one with the invite power since FI and I are paying for this shindig all on our onesie. I'm guessing that that coupled with the fact that I haven't seen or heard anything from her in nine years is why she didn't call me directly. I want to call her, but Mom suggested I hold off and let her handle it which is probably best right now.
Anyhoo, it gets better. Aunt P has a history of whining and throwing a fit until she gets her way, so she plays passive agressive and says fine, she'll come to the wedding but not the reception (um...they're the same location). Okay, whatever. Still not worried about it. Then she says she isn't going to come to the wedding at all but rather will spend the day with her friend (she somehow thinks this is a threat. Again I don't know her and have only spent a handful of time with her my whole life so I really don't care. Plus she's not done anything to endear herself to me, and I don't want her somewhere she doesn't want to be). Aunt S offered way back when to pay for half her airfare so she could come to the wedding (they and my Grandma all live in Colorado). So Aunt S tells Aunt P that if she isn't coming to the wedding, she's not going to pay for half. Now Aunt P is "thinking about it". I'm just like, okay, you do that, I'll be over here on the edge of my seat until you decide
.
Truly, I'm pretty apathetic about it but the people around me aren't so that's what I have to respond to. I'm not going to invite her friend and that's the end of it. We've offered her a compromise to bring her friend to the rehearsal dinner and it's up to her to take it. In fact, they're both going to be in town for a few days. But on the day of my wedding if she decides she's not going to be there, no one is going to be standing out in the rain begging her to come in. I don't think she realizes this.
Anyone have a relative like that?