Post # 1
I have an etiquette quandry. My fiance and I have tried our hardest to keep our wedding small- we want no more than 100 guests. We have had our list for some months now. However, two of our friends have recently gotten into relationships. Am I required to invite their girlfriends as “plus ones” on their invitations? The wedding is a bit less than six months away, so if they are still involved with these girls, it would be seemingly rude to not have invited them, right? Help!
Post # 3
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@erclay: I think everyone deserves a +1!
Post # 4
@erclay: If it’s new, I would not feel obligated to invite anyone that isn’t engaged, married, or living together.
Post # 6
I wouldnt because it is not a serious relationship
Post # 7
No, plus one’s are a privilege, not a right!
The rule is typically: engaged, married and/or living together all get their SO invited.
Post # 8
@erclay: Have you and your FI discussed how you are handling single guests? We gave most of our single guests a +1 (regardless of dating status). Some came solo, others came with a date of the same sex (ie: a friend/not a date), and one even brought her mother! gah! 🙂
Post # 9
@oracle: All of our single guests are really close friends with our other single guest- they are all from the same group of friends. So being single wouldn’t hinder their ability to socialize. In fact, of that group of 20 friends, only 5 are in relationships. So it’s not really the norm.
Post # 10
@sweetchiquita12: How do you know it’s not serious?
I’m in the camp that all SO’s need to be invited regardless of how long the couple has been married. So if they are still dating when it’s time to send out invites, I think you should include them.
Post # 11
@RunsWithBears: Meaning not engaged or married. Thats what I would base it on but not everyone would
Post # 12
I would evaluate when you are ready to send your invites.
It’s all fine and dandy for people to say “no, because it’s not a serious relationship”, but wander over to the waiting boards and see all kinds of chicks pining for engagement rings after 6 months, and try to tell them that after 6 months, they shouldn’t be thinking marriage.lol
For me, if someone is a couple, there is a +1. If someone starts dating a guy in the 6 weeks between when I sent my invites and when my wedding is, I may or may not extend invites to the +1 in the very new relationship, depending on how the rest of my RSVPs are going.
Post # 13
@erclay: My single guests also knew each other, but that wasn’t our gauge (if a single guest knew someone/several people at the wedding or not). The gauge we used was how we felt when we were offered a +1 (as a single, seriously dating or not). Sometimes we used the +1, sometimes we went solo (often this was the case, when it was a friends wedding we knew other guests and weren’t seriously dating). At the end of the day, we decided we wanted the invited guest to feel as comfortable as possible. If that meant giving them a +1, then sobeit.
To answer your original question “Are you required” to invite them – the answer is no. You aren’t ‘required’ to invite anyone other than the guests you wish to invite.
Post # 14
The only unmarried +1’s we are inviting are those who live together and those who are in long-term relationships with people whom we have met. It’s not in our budget to let everyone have a +1 so in the event that someone does get into a relationship between now and July, they are just going to have to deal. Not everyone is going to have a date and most of our friends are friends with each other anyway.