Post # 1
We are having a small, family only destination wedding. Our wedding is on the beach where we fell in love with each other and it is a very special place. All of our family will need to fly there to attend the wedding. We are borrowing some money from our folks to pay for some stuff, but it will cost everyone a pretty penny to attend (hotel, rental car, flight, etc). I moved away from my hometown a few years ago to go to school. I am not inviting any friends from my hometown because the cost of renting a reception venue and catering for my and FI’s friends will be way over budget for us and our families. In order to celebrate with my hometown friends, I thought of inviting them to my bridal shower/bachelorette party my sister will be throwing for me before the wedding (in my hometown, Las Vegas). Although, my Fiance and I are planning a large reception on the same beach for all extended family and friends a year from our wedding (this will give us time to save up for a reception venue/catering), I feel that I want to celebrate with friends (particularly, my friends from home) sooner. Is it rude to invite people to my bridal/bachelorette party and not invite them to my small, family wedding? Is there anything I can put on an invitation or announcement to assuage the awkwardness?
Due to certain circumstances, we are getting married this summer as opposed to next summer- when the reception can take place. Any thoughts will be helpful. 🙂
Post # 3
I really don’t like the idea of inviting people to a bridal shower and bachelorette party when they aren’t invited to the wedding. Inviting them to the big reception next year is fine though. Maybe you could have an engagement party with all the local friends who can’t come to the wedding instead?
Post # 4
Could you just have your bachelorette part next year? So shower now with family and then next year have the bachelorette with all of your friends. This way no one feels like they are not invited to the wedding and you don’t have to worry about explaining yourself.
Post # 5
Thanks for the advice ladies. I think a nice family bridal shower this year and a big friend shower next is the thing to do.
Post # 6
Hey Yumi87! Have you ever read the book “Miss. Manner’s Guide to a Dignified Wedding”? A friend gave me the book as an engagement present, and I love all her advice! Her advice would not to have a shower, since this implies that the guest brings gifts for you, and showers are not traditionally thrown by the bride, but by a friend. Since they are not attending the actually wedding ceremony, and thus being a part of your wedding, this would be found in bad taste. I totally understand the budget issue preventing you from inviting more people. If you are able to have a reception next year, is there any way that you could have a ceremony (short-term vow renewal) so your guest can witness it? As a friend who would be coming to this later reception, I know that I would love to see my friends celebrating their love in some way!
Post # 7
+1 MissAsB, I definitely agree with you on that one. I would be too afraid that someone would feel potentially left out. I do think it would be best if maybe you could do something separately, in town, and then of course separately, for the destination.