Post # 1
- Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club
Please excuse my ignorance in “engagement party etiquette,” but I’m confused…
and need help/opinions.
I was invited to the engagement party of 2 people I’m not particularly close with whom I work with.
The invitation said, “the couple is registered at… such and such… blah blah blah…”
… (shouldn’t have been on the invite, right?)
I was always told that you COULD give gifts at an engagement party, but they are not a gift giving event.
I feel like I am just being invited to this event so they can get a gift from me.
I doubt I’ll be invited to the wedding. Again, I’m not really close with them.
What to do, what to do…
I do feel like I should go to the party since I was asked to go to the bride-to-be’s birthday party and had to tell her no.
I would have been glad to go to the engagement party and prob would have given them a small gift o something, but that invite left a bad taste in my mouth.
What would you do?
Post # 3
I would give a gift. I never show up at anything empty-handed, not even a casual dinner at a friend’s apartment. While she shouldn’t have put it on the registry, I don’t think it’s cause to not attend.
Post # 4
I would go with what I had already planned to take. Just pretend the registry info wasnt put on it and dont mention it. 🙂 No biggie.
Post # 5
I’d bring a card and a bottle of wine and follow the advice of @sheepandbear and just pretend I hadn’t seen the registry.
Post # 6
Were the invites sent out by the couple? Or did a friend/member of the wedding party send them? I’m pretty sure I’ve gotten a shower invitation before that had the registry info included, but the invites were sent by the MOH so I didn’t really think much about it.
Post # 7
I think generally if it’s on the invitation it’s done so as a curtosey to guests who may want to bring a gift, but are unsure what to give. It’s not done to ask or insist for a gift. You don’t have to buy from the registry just because the information is there. Personally I like knowing that they’re going to actually use/like what I’m buying.
That being said, I’ve never been to an engagement party where gifts were given. If that’s normal for where you are, then I’d just get something off the registry if you intended to give a gift at all.
Otherwise, just a gift for the host like wine or something.
Post # 8
I personally wouldn’t go to an engagement party for a couple with whom I wasn’t close friends.
Post # 9
@Kayshrop: I think it’s ok to include registry info in a shower invite, those parties really are gift giving parties.
@Anna10-05-2014: If I didn’t think I would be invited to the wedding, I probably wouldn’t go to the engagement party. If I did, I would go and just bring something small like originally planned.
Post # 10
Our engagement party is in 2 weeks, and I’ve had a couple friends ask if we’ve registered. I was like “whaa? register for an engagement party?” lol Until a few days ago, I didn’t know engagement parties could be so formal
I think it depends on what kind of party it is. Are they renting a hall and will have dinner? Our is at FI’s parents place, which will turn into a pool party. I’ve told those who have asked that we aren’t expecting gifts.
I’d give them a gift reflecting on how much you think it will cost them. There is no harm in a bottle of wine and a card. Who complains about that? NOT ME!
Post # 11
I would ignore the registry and bring a bottle of champagne!
Post # 12
I know nothing about engagement parties and I never would have guessed that people brought gifts to them. But…
Since you’re not close to them, you could just skip it altogether and say you have plans for that night. Or if you actually do want to go, then just bring the small gift you were planning on. I don’t think that will be a big deal. No one *has* to buy off the registry for any kind of party.
Post # 13
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
Do you think you will be invited to the wedding? I just couldn’t go to an engagement party for a couple to whom I am not close, because chances are I wouldn’t be invited to the wedding, which would make me feel like I was being used for a gift.
Post # 14
@Bella-Bellini: +1. card and bottle of wine.
Post # 15
People brought gift to our engagement party, but we didn’t host it, my mom did. We had nothing to do with it except showing up and smiling. My mom did make sure we registered before the party though cause she knew people were going to want to bring gifts, which they did. She didn’t include the registry info on the invitations, but if anyone asked, she mentioned it.
I think if the couple is doing the inviting, it’s tacky to include the registry information. If anyone else is hosting the party, it’s perfectly fine.
That being said, I’d bring something small as a congratulations (not necessarily from the registry) and call it a day!
Post # 16
- Wedding: October 2014 - Kukahiko Estate
My FI and I just had our engagement party last weekend. We didn’t expect any gifts at all since it was a simple party in a local park, but a few people did bring gifts / cards.
One of my coworkers asked if we were registered…which I didn’t think anyone would ask about, so then we went out and made a registry haha. No one ended up buying anything off it, but now we just have a headstart on the wedding registry.