Invite has registry on it… What to do?

posted 3 years ago in Parties
  • poll: What would you do?
    I'd go to the party with no gift : (7 votes)
    8 %
    I'd go to the party with a gift off the registry. No big deal. : (15 votes)
    18 %
    I'd go to the party with a small gift as I already planned. : (44 votes)
    53 %
    I wouldn't go to the party, but would send them a gift. : (1 votes)
    1 %
    I wouldn't go to the party, and wouldn't give them a gift. : (16 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 3
    11626 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would give a gift.  I never show up at anything empty-handed, not even a casual dinner at a friend’s apartment.  While she shouldn’t have put it on the registry, I don’t think it’s cause to not attend.

    Post # 4
    2562 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I would go with what I had already planned to take. Just pretend the registry info wasnt put on it and dont mention it. 🙂 No biggie.


    Post # 5
    121 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    I’d bring a card and a bottle of wine and follow the advice of @sheepandbear and just pretend I hadn’t seen the registry.

    Post # 6
    61 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Were the invites sent out by the couple? Or did a friend/member of the wedding party send them? I’m pretty sure I’ve gotten a shower invitation before that had the registry info included, but the invites were sent by the MOH so I didn’t really think much about it. 

    Post # 7
    4139 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think generally if it’s on the invitation it’s done so as a curtosey to guests who may want to bring a gift, but are unsure what to give. It’s not done to ask or insist for a gift. You don’t have to buy from the registry just because the information is there. Personally I like knowing that they’re going to actually use/like what I’m buying. 

    That being said, I’ve never been to an engagement party where gifts were given. If that’s normal for where you are, then I’d just get something off the registry if you intended to give a gift at all.

    Otherwise, just a gift for the host like wine or something. 

    Post # 8
    724 posts
    Busy bee

    I personally wouldn’t go to an engagement party for a couple with whom I wasn’t close friends.

    Post # 9
    2429 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    @Kayshrop:  I think it’s ok to include registry info in a shower invite, those parties really are gift giving parties.

    @Anna10-05-2014:  If I didn’t think I would be invited to the wedding, I probably wouldn’t go to the engagement party.  If I did, I would go and just bring something small like originally planned.

    Post # 10
    1535 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    Our engagement party is in 2 weeks, and I’ve had a couple friends ask if we’ve registered. I was like “whaa? register for an engagement party?” lol Until a few days ago, I didn’t know engagement parties could be so formal

    I think it depends on what kind of party it is. Are they renting a hall and will have dinner? Our is at FI’s parents place, which will turn into a pool party. I’ve told those who have asked that we aren’t expecting gifts.

    I’d give them a gift reflecting on how much you think it will cost them. There is no harm in a bottle of wine and a card. Who complains about that? NOT ME!

    Post # 11
    1157 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I would ignore the registry and bring a bottle of champagne!

    Post # 12
    687 posts
    Busy bee

    I know nothing about engagement parties and I never would have guessed that people brought gifts to them. But…

    Since you’re not close to them, you could just skip it altogether and say you have plans for that night. Or if you actually do want to go, then just bring the small gift you were planning on. I don’t think that will be a big deal. No one *has* to buy off the registry for any kind of party.  


    Post # 13
    2476 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

    Do you think you will be invited to the wedding? I just couldn’t go to an engagement party for a couple to whom I am not close, because chances are I wouldn’t be invited to the wedding, which would make me feel like I was being used for a gift. 

    Post # 15
    708 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    People brought gift to our engagement party, but we didn’t host it, my mom did.  We had nothing to do with it except showing up and smiling.  My mom did make sure we registered before the party though cause she knew people were going to want to bring gifts, which they did.  She didn’t include the registry info on the invitations, but if anyone asked, she mentioned it.

    I think if the couple is doing the inviting, it’s tacky to include the registry information.  If anyone else is hosting the party, it’s perfectly fine.

    That being said, I’d bring something small as a congratulations (not necessarily from the registry) and call it a day!

    Post # 16
    242 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Kukahiko Estate

    My FI and I just had our engagement party last weekend.  We didn’t expect any gifts at all since it was a simple party in a local park, but a few people did bring gifts / cards.  

    One of my coworkers asked if we were registered…which I didn’t think anyone would ask about, so then we went out and made a registry haha.  No one ended up buying anything off it, but now we just have a headstart on the wedding registry.

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