Invite help – Canadian vs UK Ettiquette!

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@chronicwhimsy:  It’s rude in Canada but some people do it anyway, so it wouldn’t be a major shock to anyone.

Post # 4
Hostess
9903 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@chronicwhimsy:  I’m from Newfoundland, live in Ontario (GTA) – just so you know the local I’m referring to.

I don’t love seeing the registry information in invitations, but it’s usually there.  We didn’t include it on there, but we’ve told people who asked and it’s on our website (which was included with our invitations). 

Every shower invitation I’ve ever receieved has had registry information (which completely makes sense) and most weddings I’ve been to the bride has had a shower so chances are I already had the registry info even if it wasn’t included in the invite.

I pretty much always give money (cash or cheque) if I’m going to the wedding (gifts at showers).

I would ask your FI or FMIL if they think that including registry info in the invitation will offend their family.  That’s probably your best bet.  It’s very easy to spread this by word of mouth or via a website 🙂

 

Post # 5
Member
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’ve never seen it in Canada, but I’m not sure if it would actually offend people.  Perhaps they will just assume correctly that it’s the norm in the UK?

Post # 6
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee

@chronicwhimsy:  Where in Canada is your future husband from, what is the ethnicity of his parents, and what kind of work do they do?

Manners vary considerably in Canada, not only from region to region, but by subculture within a given region. Standard etiquette is that no gift requests be included with the invitation. But there are social circles where, just as in many UK social circles, including registry information is standard. In my circle, including your registry information would not offend anyone — but it would make them suspect you of being a little materialistic and not quite nicely brought up.

Post # 7
Member
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Im in the UK too (am British to avoid any confusion) and I wouldn’t say it is ‘expected’ that registry information is included with the invitstaion and in my cirlce a request for money in an invitation would be seen as downright rude.

Just thought I would mention this in case you inadvertantly offend the UK side of your wedding too! Personally I would leave all references to gifts out of the invitation and let that information spread through word of mouth via your parents or whatever (as people do in the US I think) , and that’s coming from someone born and bred in the UK…

Post # 8
Member
1125 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I’m in Canada, I’ve been to weddings in Ontario and Quebec. I’ve never seen registry information in invitations, but I would LOVE to. Every guest knows they should bring a gift and by having the registry info available, it avoids keeping guests guessing and stressing about it.

So if it’s against etiquette, well we should change etiquette, cause I think it’s rude to expect people to figure it out by themselves and spend so much energy on it when putting the info would just help them out. I say, do it! The more people do it, the less it will be taboo!

Post # 12
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee

@chronicwhimsy:  Definately ask his mom.

But with that background, I expect you will find a lot of tolerance for including registry information. Cash will probably be given as well, but that should be assumed rather than asked for explicitly (in my circle it is considered rude to give cash — as in fact it is in standard traditional etiquette — nearly as much as it is to ask for it.) Many rural communities with European roots see wedding money as a kind of floating start-up loan that circulates through the community: you are expected to give at least as much as you received, the next time a member of the giver’s family gets married.

You might consider registering at the Bay or Sears Canada, as well; for smaller items that people can bring with them. The Bay is accessible to nearly everyone on their trips into the city, and you can set up a registry online. Sears is less pricey than the bay but also does not carry the higher-end housewares; it does however have a catalog service that delivers into the rural areas and is therefore more convenient to anyone who is still on the land. Ask his mom about that, too.

Post # 13
Member
1349 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@chronicwhimsy:  My only thought is that you’re sending them an invitation and they would have to travel far to come.  To put in additional gift information might seem to be too much.  Sorry!  🙁

Post # 15
Member
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@chronicwhimsy:  

I’d stick it in….because I think it is ruder to expect people to run around asking than to just give them the information up front. I’ve never had an invite without something about the gifts either. We put an information sheet in our invites with local taxi companies, hotels, addresses of the venues, maps, and where we were registered. All in an info bulletin. They didn’t need to use the hotels or taxis and they didn’t need to use the registry, but if they wanted to then the information was available to them. Easy J I would have thought that for overseas guests this convenience would be even more important.

Post # 16
Member
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just to leave any mention of register or money out of the invitation. If asked, give the info out – but a to avoid the possibility of offending, don’t voluntarily give it up.

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