Post # 1
Since showers are usually an all-girl affair, the issue of inviting guests with spouces doesn’t usually come up with heterosexual couples. But what about lesbian couples? Should my friend’s female partner be invited to the shower too? I’m friendly-ish with her, but really only through her partner, my friend. i.e We’ve gone to their house a few times for parties and have gone out as couples a handful of times, but the clear, primary friendship is between me and my friend. I could see her assuming that she’s invited – I’m not sure why. Any thoughts?
Post # 3
I would invite her – I think that showers are more of a “female only” thing rather than a “no couples” thing – if I was her, I’d assume I was invited and probably be a little hurt if I wasn’t. Just my two cents. 🙂
Post # 4
Is there any issue around shortage of space in the shower? If not, inviting her would probably build up a lot of good will!
Post # 5
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
I’d definitely invite her! I think she would really appreciate the gesture!
Post # 6
Yeah, I agree with the others. I would invite her unless there’s some really specific reason why you can’t/don’t want to (space, really deep dislike, etc.).
Post # 7
I guess I read something different from your comment. It looked to me like you don’t want to invite your friend’s partner – I got that from you mentioning that you figure she’ll assume she’s invited although you don’t know why.
If you don’t want to invite her – don’t invite her. Bridal showers are usually for close friends and relatives – people you feel comfortable inviting to an event where they’re expected to give you gifts. You don’t have to invite anyone you don’t want to. There are tons of people I don’t anticipate inviting – for the specific reason that I’d rather have only those I’m very close to. Clearly she should be at the wedding as your friend’s partner, but bridal showers aren’t a +1 affair in my opinion.
If you did want to invite her and I was reading into it wrong — well then ! I was wrong. 🙂
Post # 8
One of my bridesmaids is a lesbian and I invited her partner to my shower which is taking place next weekend. My bridesmaid is one of my best friends and the shower is for all of the women so I wouldn’t have it any other way
Post # 9
Why do you not know why she would think she would be invited? To me, it would make sense to invite her if you’re not short on space and wouldn’t mind having her there. If you don’t want her there, don’t invite her.
One of my BM’s is married to a woman and I plan on inviting her to the shower since we do hang out through my Bridesmaid or Best Man. = )
Post # 10
No question about it for me, I would invite her, she is still a female.
Post # 11
I agree that showers are for women, not just one half of a couple. My cousin is a lesbian and her partner was invited (couldn’t make it, but still invited). But, if you don’t want to invite her, that is entirely up to you.
Post # 12
I think you could make a case for inviting her and one for not inviting her. But absolutely you would create the most goodwill and injure the fewest potential feelings if you did invite her.
Post # 13
Thanks so much for the input. To clarify- I said ‘I don’t know why” I meant I don’t know why I’d think she would assume she would be invited, because my friend hasn’t said a thing. About the space – we’re not short on space, but it’s at a restaurant and my bridesmaids are footing the bill, so I don’t want to add people casually. The other thing is that I’m not inviting all of the women invited to the wedding. Really only close friends and family (So far it’s about 13 friends, 10 family & family friends from my side and 10 from the groom’s side). Her partner is someone I know professionally so we see each other a few times a week. And my other hesitation is probably more about being hypersensitive about putting people out -I wasn’t thinking about her possibly appreciating the invitation, I was more focused on not wanting her to feel strange about being invited and feeling pressured to bring a gift, etc. But you guys gave me another perspective to think about. thanks
Post # 14
my one bridesmaid is a lesbian, her partner is definitly invited to everything my bridesmaid is… she is still a girl after all, and funny as hell, cant party without her
Post # 15
PS, my lesbian bridesmaid whos wedding i was also a bridesmaid for before she realized she liked girls i walked up the aisle with the grooms sister who was also a lesbian and groomswoman… made for some fun pictures, wish i knew where they were ill have to ask heidi if she has them still, now that she is divorced and happily in love for once in her life
Post # 16
The least you can do is invite her then it would be up to her to come or not.