Invite List semi-fiasco in the making

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@HeyHey4514:  🙁  I got into it with my mom because she didn’t want me to invite my uncle (her younger brother) since he was basically disowned a couple years ago bc of the drama between him and my aunt (their sister).  I’ve grown up being the pawn between then and finally told each and everyone of them to stop inquiring about the other or stay out of my life bc I didn’t want to deal with their drama.  Needless to say my mom was NOT happy I wanted to invite him, yet she feels i’m required to invite my aunt (who i cannot stand). Luckily, in our situation…we’re paying for the wedding so I basically told her if she didn’t like it then she didn’t have to talk to him. LOL Didn’t go over very well…but this is 3 adults in their 50’s acting like 10 year olds and its time for them to grow up. Should be interesting (if my uncle even shows up..my aunt lives with my parents so she’s a given, sadly.) Unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do other than stick your ground.  With my mom its a batter of choosing my battles or she will nitpick EVERYTHING. This was not something I was willing to waver on..and eventually she stopped trying to argue with me over it.  Regardless, i know its kind of a crappy situation to have to deal with.

Post # 4
Member
906 posts
Busy bee

I’m sorry but if your parents are contributing half of the wedding then they should get a input. I will agree that this friend of her moms shouldn’t be invited. i think a good compromise on this is you don’t invite the family your mom had a falling out with and your mom not invite the lady who told lies about you and your fi. This is also your parents day too since they are hosting the wedding and will more likely to have to entertain guests since you will be so busy on your wedding day. 

Post # 5
Member
906 posts
Busy bee

Your moms friend not her moms friend sorry. 

Post # 6
Member
906 posts
Busy bee

I will add that if it’s a blood relative that your mom didn’t like then I would see your point of view but this is a non blood relative so I vote for not inviting the family your mom had a falling out with and your mom shouldn’t invite the lady who told lies about you and your fi. 

Post # 9
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I’m a firm believe that the bride and groom should be surrounded with only the people they love and care about on their wedding day. This person clearly doesn’t fall into that category, so it’s perfectly appropriate not to invite them. You do love the family your mother doesn’t care for, so they deserve an invite. 

Mom needs to be reminded that you’d like to be surrounded by people you love on your day. After that, the most you can do is seat this family away from your mother and hope for the best.

Post # 9
Member
3044 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I think you should invite whoever you like. It is your wedding.

Post # 10
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I strongly believe that putting money towards a wedding does not somehow automatically entitle people to add random people to a wedding, but I know many Bees on here disagree. I guess in some cultures or circles the guest list is more complicated than I view it: the people the bride and groom love and want surrounding them to support their union.

Even less comprehensible to me is why your mother would think someone who doesn’t support your relationship should be included in or would even want to attend your wedding. I can’t fathom what your mother’s “argument” could possibly be.

I would fight her on this.

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