- 4 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
As background: I don’t believe that everyone is guaranteed an invitation just because of blood. I want everyone at my wedding to love us and support our marriage (or be the SO of someone who does). We don’t hold grudges, so, even if we decide to not send my FI’s parents an invite when we first send invites out, if FI’s parents ever become supportive of our marriage and stop badmouthing us, we’ll invite them at once.
Do you think this behavior justifies us not inviting FI’s parents (unless they change their tune)?
- I have never had a fight or bad word with either of FI’s parents, but they flipped out and have been mad at us since shortly after we got engaged (more explanation http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/what-to-do-regarding-ffil-fmil-advice-needed#axzz2nqSTxsME and http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/help-bad-in-laws-christmas-what-to-do#axzz2ozdzgPzm)
- they call me “that girl” and haven’t allowed me to come to their house since a couple months after we got engaged (all was fine for the 1.5 yrs before then)
- this year, they knew we planned on going to their house for Christmas and waited until Christmas day to send us a message through a third party that we couldn’t come over (they’d been talking to my FI before then with no issue and waited to have the person tell us until it was too late for us to make plans to see my family or do much else)
- they refused to talked to me or my FI for almost 5 months for no reason
- they’ve been angry at both of us since a couple months after we got engaged for no reason at all. after they started talking to my FI again, they either refuse to allow my name to even be mentioned, make negative noises at the mention of my name, or demand apologies from us (when they’re the ones who’ve ignored and snubbed us & we just keep trying to turn the other cheek) and they refuse to apologize themselves
- they’ve threatened siblings saying that his siblings shouldn’t attend our wedding or else “something bad” will happen
- they yell or “punish” us with the silent treatment any time we make a personal decision they want to go a different way (for example, last year, when FI spent the days before Christmas with me and my family because a close relative was dying, FI’s parents were very vocally mad about it beforehand and alternated between silent treatment and yelling at my FI when he went home for Christmas day)
- if they don’t change their attitudes, they will likely make a HUGE scene if they come to the wedding- this is their way- tons of shouting and very angry (if the ceremony isn’t the length they think it should be, if the wedding colors aren’t what they want, etc.)
- I’ve been nothing but nice to them. Giving them presents, taking them food, sending them cards. I stopped all this since they refused to see me or talk to me, but I’ve never been anything but nice and polite (even when they ignored me and my FI).
P.S. I won’t make this decision solo- my FI and I will make this decision together.