Invite (non-family) women I've never met to a shower?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
1473 posts
Bumble bee

You’re probably right that they wouldn’t enjoy themselves, but since your FMIL is hosting I’d let her invite them. If they don’t want to come, they won’t.

Post # 3
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I personally would not go to a bridal shower thats 2 hours away at someone’s home for a person I didn’t know.   Even if I knew the person I probaby wouldn’t go with tha travel time, but I would at least send a gift. To someone that I didn’t know, probably no gift

Post # 4
2894 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

wvlefty: I’d consider it and wouldn’t think anything of it. If anything, I would think that this is a nice gesture from a colleague. 

If I weren’t invited, I wouldn’t be sad about it (because I wouldn’t know). But if I were invited, I would think it would be nice. However, my industry tends to be close knit.

I’m not sure why two bridal showers are causing hurt feelings, especially because they are in different geographies and hosted by different sides of the family. I know you said it was a separate issue, but you did put it on the table. I hope you and your family appreciate this gesture from your FILs.

Post # 5
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Please don’t invite them.  It puts pressure on them to mail you a gift even if they don’t attend, and they probably won’t attend an event in your honour that requires a 2 hr drive because they’ve never met you and their only connection is with your FI.  When guests get an invite, their reaction should be to check their calendars.  They should not scratch their heads, wonder where they’ve heard your name before, and debate about whether to send you a gift or not.   

While everyone at pre-wedding events should be invited to the wedding, you don’t need to invite all the women to your shower.    

Post # 7
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

wvlefty:  Don’t invite them. If she gives you an issue about it- then have you FI handle it. 

My DH worked with a few women and I knew them but not on a level to invite them to a bridal shower. A bridal shower is something intimate and should be spent with the women in your life that you are close with. 

The only people I had at my shower were my BMs, close girlfriends, and DHs aunts, cousins, and of course my FMIL who threw the shower for me. 

Post # 8
47 posts
  • Wedding: November 2014

My bridal shower is in September, and there is a good 20-25 people coming that I don’t know.  A few of them, I have met when I was little and others especially on my fiance’s side that I’ve never met before.  Both moms are throwing me my shower so I figure, let them invite whomever they want.  No one is holding a gun to anyones head forcing people to come.  If they want to come they will come and if they don’t they won’t.  I think you should let her invite them and see what happens, especially if its going to make her happy. 🙂


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