(Closed) Invite Officiant?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do we invite our officiant?
    Yes : (12 votes)
    52 %
    No : (9 votes)
    39 %
    Other (details below) : (2 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    Hostess
    3371 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    If you have no personal relationship, then no, don’t worry about it. They have you on their schedule. 🙂

    Post # 4
    Member
    505 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    If you get along, yes, and If you dont feel it then doont! thats not a MUST DO, dont worry (:

    Post # 5
    Member
    8164 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    We invited our judge, but he declined and just stayed for a drink as expected.

    Post # 6
    Member
    7794 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Definitely a “no”. We invited ours because we knew him personally (he was our church pastor), but I’ve been to plenty of weddings where the officiant wasn’t at the reception. He’s just doing his job and after the ceremony his job is finished.

    Post # 7
    Member
    9955 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Here’s a general rule of thumb…

    It all comes down to how well you all know each other.  If you refer to the person as your “Wedding Officiant”, then you probably aren’t that close… and may be infact paying them to provide a service, just like you hire any other Wedding Venor. 

    If however, you refer to them as Rabbi Steinberg, Pastor Bob, or Reverand Smith… you probably do know them fairly well, and should Invite them to the Reception.

    Generally speaking, those who marry you and you are close to should get an Invite (and their spouce along with them, if they have one)

    More often than not tho, the Officiant will tell you they won’t stay long… and rarely for the meal (exception here again is if they know the B&G or are close to the family).  In most cases the Officiant either politely refuses the offer… or only stays for the Cocktail Hour.

    Hope this helps,

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    1399 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    We’re inviting ours (and his wife), but our ceremony and reception are both on a boat. Can’t exactly have him stay for the ceremony then swim back to shore :oP Either way, I’d invite him, though. It’s just one extra person (even if the wedding is small), and it’s a nice token of appreciation. Still, it’s totally fine if you dont’ want to invite him.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    It’s just proper manners and ettiquette to invite the officiant and their spouse to the reception, as well as provide a plate for your photographers and DJ/band. Most of the time the officiant will decline, it’s 2 people.

    The officiant is kind of the most important person aside from the couple for the ceremony, do you really want to offend them?

    Post # 10
    Member
    1278 posts
    Bumble bee

    My SO’s dad is a pastor, and has married many people.  He said that most will invite him (and his wife) to the reception, but he generally only goes if the couple is an active member of the church and he has a relationship with them outside of marrying them.  But he does appreciate the gesture.  

    Since it is more of a bussiness relationship, if you don’t invite him it should be okay.  But I’m almost certain that if you did invite him he won’t go and it will look kind on your end if you do invite him.  Also, if he is married, invite his spouse too.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1217 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I think it’s the polite thing to do. His wife probably wouldn’t come, especially if they have young kids, but it really is nice to invite them both. To me the officiant is one of the most important people in a wedding since he/she conducts the ceremony, so we are trying to make sure our officiant is comfortable. that said, we’ve been doing premarital counseling with him so we have a different relationship with him than it sounds like ya’ll do.

    Post # 12
    Member
    11352 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I’ve always been under the impression that wedding officiants, as well as those chosen to be readers, singers, and musicians for a wedding ceremony — and their spouses (if applicable) — should always be invited to the reception. 

    My DH is a pastor, and even couples who are not members of our church generally invite us to the reception of a wedding he has performed. (I should note, however, that DH requires couples to undergo at least six sessions of pre-marriage counseling with him prior to him performing their ceremonies, so, he definitely has more of a connection with a couple than just showing up on the day of their wedding and performing their ceremony.)

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