Post # 1
OK, This might be a weird question, but I’m just wondering what you ladies think:
We are assuming everyone invited will bring a plus one, and have accounted for it in our planning/budgeting…..that being said, because we’re having a small(ish) wedding, and have a larger group of mutual friends, not EVERYONE is being invited.
For established couples, I would assume we should write both names on the invite, but if one member of the couple can’t come for whatever reason I personally would be ok with that person bringing another friend who wasn’t invited (in my mind if that makes the person have a better time it’s no skin off my back). So then should I just say (guest name)+1, or should I specify which two people I mean?
I just hate saying +1 when I know both members of a couple, because it drives me nuts when, after all this time, FI gets invites from people who know us without my name on it….
Post # 3
I’m a little offended when I get invites to “Gemstone and Guest” when FI and I have been together for six years and are engaged.
Maybe if a friend RSVPs that they’re coming solo (SO can’t make it), you follow up with a phone call indicating that they’re welcome to bring another friend?
Post # 4
I wouldn’t bother wording it a specific way on the invite. For established couples, write both thier names or send separate invites if they don’t live together. If one of them can’t make it, there should be enough time after they send back their RSVP to let them know that if one can’t come, the other is still allowed to bring a guest. Just tell them verbally if the situation occurs.
And FWIW, If my FI couldn’t come, I probably wouldn’t bring a different guest, especially if I already knew other friends who would be there. I’d just hang out with the people I know.
Post # 5
I would definitely address it to the names of the people you know. For friends that you don’t know who they’ll be bringing, I would say, “John Smith and Guest.”
Post # 6
I would put their name for sure. Maybe you could put a little note or disclaimer at the bottom that says something about “if either of you is unable to attend we would be pleased to welcome an alternate guest in your honour to join us in celebrating our special day”. Or something. That’s kind of off the cusp – but you get the idea. 🙂
Post # 7
I addressed the invites to the person at the residence (if they were engaged, both names were on the envelope) and then made sure it was clear on the RSVP that there were 2 seats reserved for them.
Post # 8
@lolo21: do you remember what your wording was?
Post # 9
I have done the same thing with my guest list, and just assumed that everyone would bring a date/guest/family. For couples I put both names, and I placed singular names on the invitation (for those who are single/and for co-workers that we do not know the spouses), but I allowed on the RSVP card for them to tell me how many people would be coming with them:
__Accepts with pleasure __Declines with regret
Will be accompanied by ____ additional people
I thought that this was the best way to go about it, and I am sure that some will bring more than their fair share, some will come solo, and some will not be able to attend, so it should all balance out in the end.
Post # 10
If you know their name, PLEASE put it on there lol. I am so offended that my fiance and have been engaged 8 months, everyone knows my name, and yet we will get an invitation that says “FI and Guest.” It’s like they are insinuating we might not last the 6 months until their wedding or something. Include the name, then if you hear they break up or can’t come, just let the person know they are welcome to bring someone else.
Post # 11
I have the same issue as you – since we are having a semi-DW (our families are in NJ and FL, respectively, and the wedding is in TN), I am just letting it be a free-for-all for +1’s. I figure, if someone wants to travel to such an unglamorous location for our wedding, they deserve to bring a friend!
I will just be addressing envelopes to a whole family/both sides of a couple and leaving the “# attending” space blank, then asking for names of people attending. We are having a pretty casual celebration so I am not overly concerned with formal etiquette rules.
Post # 12
@MrsTrigger: I know! It gets to me, too!
Post # 13
just put their name on the invitation and if you are close to them, just tell them straight, say hey if you cant get make it and your partner can bring someone else!
that’s what i did!