Post # 1
I need advice from the bees. A friend lost her husband very tragically a few months ago. I am making up my invite list and wanted to know whether to invite her with +1. I don’t want her to think I want her to cook up a “date” so soon after her loss, and I honestly don’t want her to bring one of her children as a +1 (adult only reception except for immediate family). Several other of our mutual friends are ditching their Darling Husband to make my wedding (a semi-destination) a “girls weekend”, so it should not be uncomfortable for her to come as a single. I don’t want to be rude, but I also don’t want to put pressure on her.
Post # 3
I would just address the invite to her name only. FI’s aunt suddenly lost her husband a month ago and on the invitation, I just wrote her name.
Post # 4
I invited a coworker of my mom’s that I know and gave her a +1 even though her husband passed away about 2-3 months ago. She is going to bring her daughter with and I have a few other widowed/divorced women that are bringing a friend since they don’t have a husband. I didn’t want them to feel alone and wanted to allow them to bring someone with to make them feel more comfortable.
ETA: I didn’t see that you wrote that she had younger children and it is an adult reception.
Post # 5
@WindyCityWendy: I think it depends on her role in the wedding. If she will know a lot of people, I think it’s fine to invite her alone. If she won’t, include a plus one. What I would probably do is ask her about it and find out what will make her the most comfortable.
Post # 6
Who wants to attend a wedding alone, especially after they lost their husband? I would give her a plus one. You could always have +1 “optional” on her invite.
Post # 7
Ditto emlee, if you have it in your budget to give her a plus one, I would gently ask what she would prefer.
Post # 8
Because you say she will know a lot of people there, I think it’s fine to put just her on the invitation.
Post # 9
Honestly I would call her and ask her. If she’s a friend, it would be way better to ask her directly (of course in a gentle manner, out of respect for her loss) than to try to guess what she would like to do, especially at an emotional time for her. When people are under deep emotional stress, they often lash out at unpredictable things– you really can’t go kick Death’s ass, so you just try to unleash the anger at some random occurence. Or they become extremely sad at things that the rest of us can’t imagine being upsetting till we’ve been in their shoes.
Would the +1 be seen as pushing her to find a date? Or would the lack of a second name on that invite be what breaks her heart a little bit more? You won’t be able to guess right, so just be a friend and ask.
Post # 10
I would give her a +1. Attending big events like that on your own for the first time since a loss is really hard, and giving her the opportunity to bring someone with her may make it easier for her.
Post # 11
My grandpa is a recent widower. I did not feel it was appropriate to add a +1, but that’s just me.
Post # 12
As a widow, I agree with the advice to call her and ask her.