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Invite stepsister to rehearsal dinner

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
  •  
    1.
    Member
    80 posts
    Worker bee
    lagizzle    10/24/09   DFW

    My FI's dad got remarried 3 years ago and step-mom has a daughter who is my age. step-daughter and her boyfriend live an hour away and we see them maybe once a year. I haven't seen her in about 2 years. Neither of them are involved in the wedding at all. Do we need to invite her to RD?  We are not inviting FI's aunt and uncle who also live in town but are not involved in the wedding either. I'm just confused about who should/should not be invited to the RD.

     
    2.
    Hostess
    2,704 posts
    Sugar bee
    KateMW    8.30.03   Birmingham

    I would invite your siblings, step or not. I personally would also invite your FIs aunt and uncle, but that's just me.

     

     
    3.
    Member
    2,655 posts
    Sugar bee
    Tanya123      

    It's the path of least resistance.  SO it's something to consider.

    On the one hand, since this stepsister, entered into your family as an adult, and that your father has only been married three years, I don't know that it's absolutely necessary to invite her.  You said that you aren't close.  It sounds like, you barely know eash other.  If she had been your stepsister since you were kids, that would certainly be a different story.  But stepsiblings that come together as adults, to me, aren't really stepsiblings, unless they happen to it off together.

    However, if it's going to create big waves, or if your father and stepmom are paying for the RD, I think she should be invited. I's not worth setting a bad tone for two people.

    If you are paying for the RD yourself, maybe you can politely say, it's nothing personal.  It's just for folks who are in th BP.  (I'm just wondering if not inviting her is being looked at as some kind of "I don't like you" snub.)

    No you don't have to invite the aunt and uncle either, since they are not at all involved in the wedding.  Really, you don't want to make this another wedding reception.  I could see if they were OOT, but in town? I don't think so.

     
    4.
    Member
    148 posts
    Blushing bee
    wagamama    9/19/2009   Seattle

    Who to invite to the RD is up to you..at a minimum it should be your wedding party and your parents.  Everyone else is optional.  We are paying for RD ourselves and FI's step siblings are not invited. Like you, we are not particularly close to them.  As for the aunts/uncles, we're not doing that either.

    You're already going to be spread thin on your wedding day, try to make your RD as intimate as possible. Allow yourselves to spend quality time with those who are close to you.

     
    5.
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    Member
    172 posts
    Blushing bee
    socalbride86    July 7, 2010   Chicago

    inviting them to the wedding is more than enough

     
    6.
    Member
    80 posts
    Worker bee
    lagizzle    10/24/09   DFW

    Ok...thanks everyone! I had asked FMIL (not step mom, real mom) if Aunt and Uncle should be invited to RD, and she said no they didn't need to be, so I'm ok with not inviting step-sister.  And we really don't know step-sister at all. I do want to make it intimate and be able to spend time with the people close to us.

     

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