Post # 1
I teach about 60 kids in an after school theatre class. They range in age from 5-16. Some of these kids have been with me for years and I work with them at least 2 days a week (even more closer to shows). Obviously, they are some of the people I know the best and they are all sooo excited for my wedding. They have even suggested wanting to do a musical number at the ceremony (like Glee), which I LOVE!
I am going back and forth because to invite them would mean not just 60 more guests, but potentially 240 more guests (if you average a family of 4). However, I can’t just invite SOME, because they are all buddies and would talk and I don’t want any of the kids to feel like I don’t love them as much. It’s kind of an all or nothing thing.
My mom thinks I either need to invite their whole families or no one. I know many of the parents as well and am hoping that either way only the people I know would come, but you know how people often treat weddings as a free fancy night out. I wonder if it would be possible to invite the CHILD +1 guest (presumably a parent). Do you think this would be terribly offensive?
Post # 3
My second grade teacher got married while I was in her class, she told us that we were welcome at the church and gave us the time and everything. We were not invited to the reception. I’m now a teacher and believe its a conflict of interest, you don’t want your students around when you’re partying (even if its just a glass of champagne), its just a bad idea and you wont want to deal with any possible repercussions. I highly suggest NOT inviting your students to the reception
Post # 4
Honestly, I understand how close you all are but perhaps the week before your Fiance can come in and you can host a small party for all of them. I don’t think inviting them is worth the hassle. Sorry 🙁
Post # 5
Honestly, I think it’s better to keep your wedding separate from your teaching. I know you love your kids SO much, and that’s wonderful. But I think it opens a can of worms to have them there, particularly at the reception, as kingytobe said.
I did theater throughout jr high and high school, and I know how intense the teacher/student relationship can get. Because of that, I think it’s good to maintain some kind of line between your professional and private lives.
Post # 6
I agree with kingytobe. I would be totally fine with my students coming to the ceremony (though I didn’t invite mine because we wanted to have a smaller ceremony), but the reception is not really a place for younger people to be seeing their teacher with alcohol and such. I just have a problem with it on a professional level, and I’m always super careful with that. One of my friends invited her students to her church service, but the reception was just for specific guests. It worked out well for her!
Post # 7
You have a good heart in wanting to include your students in your special day. That said, it’s your private life. They will be excited for you and and I can not imagine that they will have expectations of attending. As a parent I would find it odd if my child received an invitation with a plus one to the teacher’s wedding and even odder if the entire family was invited.
If the students want to do a performance at the ceremony, that’s awesome. I do not see the reason to invite them to the reception…..
Post # 8
I totally understand where you are coming from as I am a teacher, too, but I do agree that it’s not the best idea. First of all, it is a conflict of interest; even if you are not planning on drinking or behaving inappropriately, some of your guests may. Believe me, kids talk and stuff like that WILL make its way around town. Second of all, even SIXTY is a TON more guests, even if your wedding is going to be large. I think you should just show them pictures when you return and share fun stories from your special day, but don’t invite them.
Post # 9
I have a friend who is a teacher and when she got married she wanted the kids to be part of the big day because they were almost as excited about the wedding as she was.
The children were allowed to attend the church service, along with parent-volunteers who drove them (4 or 5 adults). After the service all the children posed with a picture with the bride/teacher and then they had some cake and punch as their own private reception. The bride stayed for 5 – 10 minutes while the children had the cake and punch so she could thank them and take a few pictures and then she said her goodbyes. All the kids were more than happy to even be included that much.
Post # 10
@Miss Smurf: It sounds like she may have been an elementary teacher, I’m assuming? I think it would be a totally different story to invite them to the ceremony if you had between 15-20 students, but 60 is a different ball game, in my opinion!
Post # 11
I agree with other posters that this may be a conflict of interest. Making the ceremony a field trip of sorts is a cute idea. Talk about it during class, and have some parent volunteers bring the kids to the ceremony, but after the ceremony they head home. It also is a great photo opp for you if you would like to have something to remember them by on your big day.
Post # 12
@Miss Smurf: Oooh, now that’s an idea! Maybe I could just do cake and pizza for them right after and then their parents could come get them.
I just love all of the kids so much and they have talked almost non-stop to me about the wedding since I told them I was getting married. I want them to be included somehow, but I don’t want to be rude and invite them to the ceremony only.
Post # 13
My son’s teacher is about to get married, but we in no way would expect for her to invite him or us to the wedding.
We do want to celebrate with her though and have asked her to let us know when we can plan a party for her. I would love to get her a gift, and maybe have punch and snacks.. but more than that I would think is inappropriate. They’re 5/6 year olds though.. so I don’t think they would behave!
We were going to have the kids decorate a “Just Married” sign for them to put on their car. Maybe you can involve them in something like that?
Post # 14
In high school, some of us girls were invited to a teacher’s wedding. We attended the ceremony, but hell no we weren’t invited to the wedding. I think you have to draw the line somewhere, otherwise you’ll have 60 kids, 120 parents, 27 dogs, and 45 friends of the family.
Post # 15
I am shocked at the poll results. This is obviously a huge part of your life that you LOVE. I would do child +1 (adult). Think of how much it means to you and how much fun it would be.
ETA: I also don’t know people that treat weddings like a “free night out.” Your students and you would be happy to be there/ have them there. I think it would add a lot of joy and life to your event. I guess it all depends, I can see how some feel it is a conflict of interest, but are you going to go wild at your reception anyway? If you want them there- it is your day.
Post # 16
@brideatbeach: Yes – my friend is an elementary school teacher but there were around 40 kids attending in total (some children she taught the year or two before). 60 is a big number, especially if you allow each child to bring their family. My friend had everything very well arranged where one parents was in charge of organizing drivers and transportation, that is why she only had around 6 adults there (thank goodness for mini-van!!!)
Hopefully you can find a medium that works for everyone, but most importantly you! Enjoy your day!