Post # 1
I am debating about whether or not I should invite my boss to my wedding at the end of August. I am not planning on inviting anyone else at work, mainly because I have only been working there since February so I’m not super close with anyone yet, and frankly our guest list is maxing out. But is it proper etiquette to invite one’s boss? I don’t think he would come, since the wedding is two hours away in another state, and I think he might even already have plans for that weekend (Labor Day weekend). Should I invite him out of respect, or will it seem like I’m just fishing for a present?
Post # 3
If you don’t have a relationship with your boss…leave her/him out. I’m not inviting my boss but then she would be SOOOO out of place…it would be unconfortable and you’ll have to behave.
Post # 4
I say, do it. We had a very small wedding (50 including bridal party) and still invited his two bosses and their wives. They both gave very generous gifts, one of them paid for our bartender. We really owe them so much. They have done so much for husband and it was the least we could do. Now, not everyone feels that way about their bosses. Not everyone can say they have gotten drunk with their husband’s bosses wife either. So, to answer your question: evaluate how close you are to your boss and then decide.
Post # 5
Here’s a little more info: We get along just great, but it’s definitely a work, rather than social, relationship. I am 22; he is probably late 40s or so — has two daughters who are 4-5 years younger than me, so he’s more like my dad. I am pretty much positive he wouldn’t come. So I guess the question is, is it more polite just to invite him as a nice gesture or to not invite him so as to avoid being a gift monger? I don’t care about the gift; just want to make a good impression and do the polite thing!
Post # 6
I made it clear that we were only going to invite family to our wedding due to budget constraints and then I spoke privately to the co-workers I wanted to invite. However, in my case it might be somewhat easier because I’ll be quitting around the time my Save the Dates will be mailed. Coincidence? lol If I saw my boss socially or even respected him for that matter, then I would probably be happy to invite him, but since neither apply then he will not receive an invitation.
Post # 7
I think you should invite your boss. My sister invited her boss to her wedding, he came with his partner and never gave any gift whatsoever! But I do think you should invite. we cannot get to a place where we fear that the invitation is an order for a present–I know its easy to feel that way, but we must try not to!
Post # 8
There are very small companies where employees and their bosses socialize a lot; I don’t know if you work for one of these. Fiance and I are inviting only three people from work (one of whom happens to be his current boss, my former boss). But we are inviting them because we socialize with them outside of work enough to call them friends, not because we work with them. I think that most of our management would have been uncomfortable with an invitation – we work for a fairly large engineering firm, and management is actually discouraged from having personal relationships with staff, so if you are friends with your boss and his wife you need to keep it pretty quiet.
In other words, IMO there is no standard etiquette about whether you invite your boss to your wedding. If you feel like you have a relationship with him that would make it reasonable for you and Fiance to invite him and his wife over for dinner, I would go ahead and invite him. If not, there is no more obligation to include him in this social event than in any other dinner party you might have. And in some companies, there are fairly well spelled out protocols that would indicate that he should refuse any social invitation from anyone on his staff.
Post # 9
I think if you were engaged prior to working there, you shouldn’t feel obligated to invite your boss. He/She will understand – especially since no one else is invited. I had a coworker here that got married about 6 months after starting here and didn’t invite any coworkers.
We would have loved to be invited, but it wasn’t a big deal. We still sent a gift. It was safe to assume that it was a small family affair, and no harm no foul was taken.