Post # 1
I was looking over our wedding guest list and I’ve noticed that we left off the woman who led to my FIs and my introduction to each other. We both used to be close to her but drifted away after her personality changed, causing her to be a difficult person to be around. Neither of us want to invite her but we feel like we owe a lot to her since we are now getting married. I feel like she would be upset if she was left out, yet we haven’t kept in touch in years. We our having a small affair and only inviting people who we remained close to, yet I feel like if I were make an exception, it should be with her. What would you do?
Post # 3
I don’t think you should feel obligated to invite someone because you were close to them years ago, even if she lead to your introduction. If she isn’t a part of your life now, then she doesn’t need to be a part of your wedding IMO.
Post # 4
I agree…if you are not in touch with her now, I wouldn’t feel obligated to invite her.
Post # 5
Completely agree with PP. Plus, if you don’t keep in touch, it doesn’t really matter if she’s offended. I say invite people who will remain part of your life.
Post # 6
I was wondering this same thing!!! Exact same situation as the OP. Thanks for the responses, I wasn’t planning on inviting her either, also because we are limited with space.
Post # 7
I agreee with pp. Even though she introduced you two, she’s not in either of your lives now and if its a smaller wedding then there’s no real need to invite her. Plus if she’s not a pleasant person to be around I wouldn’t subject myself or my wedding guests to her.
Post # 8
I think it would have been a sweet sentiment to invite her if you both were in contact with her, or at least thought of her pleasantly. But since you said she has changed, is difficult, and you haven’t kept in contact with each other, I don’t think you need to invite her.
If you wanted to do something to let her know about your marriage, you could send her an announcement card of your wedding with a little thank you note for the role that she played in your meeting. But I don’t think you’re obligated to do anything.
Post # 9
I understand your predicament. We were initially on the fence about inviting the woman who brought us together. I saw her often, but we weren’t super close. The wedding budget is tight and the guest list small so what really pushed her into the A list column was that in addition to her pivotal role in getting us together, she’s such a sweet person, a true pleasure to be around and I know she would be happy to support us. If I was in your position and hadn’t see the person in a long time, and was uncomfortable around the person she’d become, then I wouldn’t invite her.
Post # 10
Send her a nice note letting her know you got married and thank her for introducing you.