Invite to engagment party but not to the wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is is rude to invite someone to the engagment party but not the wedding?
    Yes : (38 votes)
    68 %
    No : (15 votes)
    27 %
    POLLS! : (1 votes)
    2 %
    Other, please explain : (2 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    1242 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    You could do an “open house, informal gathering. Ask for no gifts. No invites, do it word of mouth.

    I’ve been to quite a few of those. It works out nicely.

    Post # 4
    1590 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Um, you could throw  a party and not call it anything. Otherwise yeah, very rude. At e-parties, everyone talks about the wedding!

    Post # 5
    1436 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @CookieDough_love:  I think this is asking for drama. People who are invited to the engagment party might very well assume they’ll be invited to the wedding. 90-120 is not small to me, and you said “close friends and family.” This could leave people wondering why they didn’t make the cut when you invited 100 people, and not all family. I think you’re better off just inviting family to the engagement party and figure out which friends you’re inviting later on.

    Post # 6
    841 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I think it depends on what kind of party you’re having. If its an actual “party” where people are sent invitations and will bring gifts, then yes, I think that’s rude. If it’s something less than that, say a night out at a bar where people can comeand go as they please, invited via word of mouth or Facebook,, but you’re not actually “hosting” anything, I think it’s fine. I also agree with PP that 120 is not very small for a wedding. Telling people they aren’t invited (which I you will inevitably have to do) because you are only inviting 120 of your close friends and family will certainly cause drama. 


    Post # 7
    667 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Anyone invited to prewedding parties (including engagement, shower, bachelor(ette)) should be invites to the wedding. No option, unfortunately.

    Post # 8
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I think its rude. Only because most people will bring a gift and will just assume they are invited to the wedding.

    Post # 9
    61 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: January 2008

    You know the rule, never assume. It makes an ass out of me and you. I don’t think its rude. It happens all the time.

    Post # 13
    370 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    If you invite them to your engagement party they will expect to be invited to your wedding.

    I see nothing wrong, however, with inviting people to your engagement party and then only inviting them to drinks & dancing at your wedding (i.e. after the ceremony, formal sit-down meal, etc). If you are worried about costs but still want these people with you on your wedding day, you could invite your close friends and family to the whole day and everyone else to the night.

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