Post # 1
Last year, a pair of our old high school friends got married. We attended their wedding but we don’t talk to them very often outside of special occasions. However, on facebook, the bride still is listed with her last name. I’m not sure whether or not she goes by her husband’s last name or her own in real life.
Should I just ask her?
Or should I just address the invites to:
Mr. & Mrs. Smith?
Mr. A & Mrs B Smith?
Mr. A Smith & Mrs. B Jones?
Mr. A Smith & Ms. B Jones?
Post # 3
I would just ask to be certain. Send her a FB message.
Post # 4
I”ve never talked to her on FB, would it be weird to suddenly send an FB message to ask about her last name? I don’t want to see rude or anything.
Post # 5
@mrsbruff2b: I don’t think it would be rude at all. The nice thing about FB messages is you can just shoot one off after not having talked to the person for awhile – that’s what FB is for in my opinion. Just a short and sweet little message like, “Hi Julie, I hope you guys are doing well! [Maybe comment on something interesting or fun you saw on her FB page.] We’re getting ready to send out our wedding invites, and I have a quick question for you. I noticed you’re still using your maiden name on your FB profile, so I just wanted to ask if that’s the name you’re going by so I can make sure to address your invite correctly.”
I have a couple of old friends I have to check with regarding this issue, as well, and this is what I plan on doing.
Post # 6
@mrsbruff2b: I think the only way to know is to ask. It is not polite to call someone a name other then what they prefer. I also don’t think you should guess, presume or rely on facebook.
In regards to Mr. A Smith & Mrs. B Jones. This would only be correct if Mrs. B Jones had previously been married to a Mr. Jones, and she had kept his name after the end of their marriage. Mrs refers to someone who has taken the husbands name. If someone retains their maiden name they do not become a Mrs, but remain a Ms.
Post # 8
I would just ask to be 100% for sure & so you don’t offend her.
Post # 9
I’m assuming you talk to this person off FB if she’s invited to your wedding? So I don’t think it would be awkward to talk to her on FB. I agree with PPs, I’m sure she’ll be fine with you asking and will probably even appreciate it.