Post # 1
So, my FI and I were invited to his poker buddy’s wedding. I have met the guy on several occasions but have never hung out with him outside of seeing him at poker night at our house. I have NEVER met his fiancee. Actually, I am not even going to their wedding because my MOH planned my bachelorette party for the same night.
Yesterday, I received an invitation in the mail for this chick’s bridal shower. Obviously, I am not going to go because I have never met her. However, do I have to send a gift because I was invited? Obviously, my FI will take a gift to the wedding (he is going without me). I’m just not sure of the etiquette as far as a shower gift in this situation.
Post # 3
I have to admit I invited all the women to my bridal shower that were invited to the wedding bc I was afraid someone would get offended they weren’t invited. I don’t think you need to send a gift though I think she wouldn’t expect it.
Post # 4
@MrsPom: I argee, I don’t expect a gift from any of my guests who can’t attend my shower.
Post # 5
You are not obligated to attend the shower or to send a gift. And, you do not need to provide an explanation as to why you are not attending. Just politely respond to the invitation, indicating that you will not be attending the shower.
Post # 7
Nope, no worries. My FMIL is inviting lots of people I’ve never met to my showers, I won’t be offended in the least if none of them show!
Post # 9
I think you absolutely need to send a gift!! If they went through the trouble to think of you and mail out an invite (unless its an e-vite) than you definitely need to send something. Go on her registry and pick out something small, and send a nice card. Its nice of her to acknowledge you, even if you’ve never met her. Personally, I wouldn’t feel right otherwise…
Post # 10
p.s. and dont feel obligated to attend the shower, i avoid it at all costs if i dont know a soul there!! because that would just be awkward. but seriously, send something.
Post # 11
Not go. Not send a gift. Not send a card.
In all honesty? It sounds gift grabby. You’ve never met, right? Why are you going to meet her at the same time as buying her a gift? Just my opinion!
Post # 12
I wouldn’t worry about not being able to attend nor would I send a gift. To me, this seems like a gift grab.
Post # 14
i agree, it sounds like a gift grab, but maybe send a card?
Post # 15
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I don’t feel that it is a git grab. She probably had every woman on her invitation list invited to a shower and wouldn’t want to leave you out just becuase she hasn’t met you yet. I do not think you need to send a gift, but I think it would be better if you did. I’d send something small, but I would send something.
Post # 16
As someone who was wondering about inviting people so they would feel included vs. being ‘gift-grabby’, I’d say DO NOT feel obligated to send anything. It’s better to assume she just wanted you to feel included.