Invited to a party without my DH

posted 2 years ago in Career
Post # 2
7290 posts
Busy Beekeeper

sunnyde:  It would depend on whether he wanted to go to the party or not. My husband probably wouldn’t want to come to a work party because he wouldn’t know anyone and I would spend the night talking with my colleagues where the conversation would most probably be work centric.

I don;t understand why you are uncomfortable going to a party at a guys house without your DH? It is not like you are going to be the only person there.

Post # 3
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

sunnyde:  I almost always bring DH to parties, but work is an exception. But the reason work is an exception is because it’s not practical – work get togethers are during work hours (i.e. lunch) or immediately after work hours (a drink at or near work immediately after finish time).

But – and I’ve been working in a male dominated industry for 20+ years – I’ve never been invited to anything at a colleague’s house without my partner (except during work trips when he’s not present). The situation you describe is more social than work, so in my opinion it was inappropriate to invite you without your husband.

I would decline the invite. 

Post # 4
5162 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

sunnyde:  Yes, if my DH is available I’ll bring him to a social event.  It would be really weird for me to be invited to an social event and have him excluded unless there was some clear reason (girls night, profesional event, a get together with university friends that includes no SOs).  

It’s not that I wouldn’t attend without him – DH and I are LD and we attend social events without one another all the time.  We aren’t at all co-dependent.  I just think it’s totally weird to have a social event and invite some people’s SOs and not others.  That includes weddings in my opinion!

Post # 5
8850 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

That’s weird – I’d be annoyed. You’re married, you’re a package deal unless you choose not to be.  I hang out with my coworkers a lot and we always include people’s SOs.

Post # 6
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

It really depends on several things. Unless it’s FI’s Surper Bowl Party, I won’t go and he wouldn’t expect me to. He loves football, me not so much. 

Last month my FI went to a wedding that was on the same day as my half sisters college graduation. I didn’t know the guy who was getting married as he was a work friend of my FI. He didn’t know my half sister well at all so it was an easy decision for us to seperate for the day even though we were both invited to both events.

I would say it’s a case by case basis.

Post # 7
567 posts
Busy bee

sunnyde:  eh I think it depends on the dynamic with your co-workers. I go to get togethers all the time at co-workers houses without our spouses. If spouses are invited great, if it’s just a co-worker get together that’s fine too! I don’t think I would ever really be annoyed about FI not being invited somewhere unless it were a couples specific event. 

Post # 8
2894 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

sunnyde: I usually do a few minutes with the work peeps and then the FI joins. My work peeps like my FI a lot though so it’s never a problem.

You could always put in an appearance as it’s good for your work relationships and then when non-work people show up, either move on or have him join. 

Post # 9
2316 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

When it comes to work socials I never even think about asking if my DH can come but maybe that’s because they are always just work people anyway with no partners. It’s the same with his work, I’ve never been to any of his work socials because they are usually purely for work people. Sometimes there might be a “couples” event (e.g. Christmas dinner) with his work but I’ve never gone so far. 

Sometimes you are just allowed to go somewhere without your DH if you want to. 

Post # 10
6455 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

It depends. I’ve gone to quite a few events with co-workers without my husband. It’s actually abnormal for SOs to be invited to parties held by work members. Why do you feel uncomfortable going to a man’s house without your husband for a party? I find the gender distinction strange.

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