Post # 1
I’ve tried searching on here and didn’t really see any posts that fit my situation.
We are getting married in a wine cellar where we are limited on space. Our wedding is going to be very small/intimate with no more than 40-50 people. Right after our ceremony we are having our first dance, cake and an hour cocktail til 7 pm. Starting at 8, we are having an “after party” at another location the next town over. I say after party because it isn’t a true reception. We rented out space that has a full bar so there will be open bar as well as light bites (mini burgers, meatballs, etc). There are private bowling lanes, pool table, darts and outdoor space. We’ve been to so many traditional weddings that we knew that wasn’t what we wanted.
Anyways, my question is, how do we invite people to the after party and not the ceremony. Word of mouth? Evite? Our budget is tight so I’d like to avoid printing separate invites. We are only looking to have an extra 10-20 people people so 10 invites.
Also, do these extra people get a save the date sent to them? Is that tacky to send a save the date when you are only invited to the after portion and not ceremony?
Oh, and do we share our wedding website with these guests? They are going to see our ceremony info on there…will they assume they are invited to that? Just not sure the URL with them?
Post # 3
@celicacutie: We’re in a similar situation, sort of. We’re not holding a sit-down dinner, so our venue has a lot of room for mingling and walking around, BUT the outdoor ceremony space is quite small. Because of that, we’re inviting only family and very close friends to the ceremony, and then opening up the reception to everyone else.
That bieng said, I’m also not certain how to go about it! We’re thinking that we’ll just distribute two different types of invitations, but it is confusing.
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
I would hold off on Save the Dates for the after party. Send separate invitations to each event specifying what exactly they are invited to so there isn’t any confusion. Be aware that some guests might be miffed by being invited to one event but not the other, especially since they are on the same day.
Post # 5
@beachbride1216: Well, if it helps, no one is being invited to the ceremony and NOT the after party. My fiance just has a few casual friends that he still wants to celebrate with but we can’t fit them at the winery for the ceremony. Our ceremony is only immediate family and close friends.
Post # 6
I wouldn’t share the wedding website with anyone not invited to the wedding; and I also wouldn’t share the registry information. You’re not inviting them to the ceremony or the reception so you really shouldn’t accept or solicit a gift from them. If it’s only 10 people, i would either spend the money on invites for them (really it’s not going to add that much money) or call them and invite them personally. Don’t send them a STD. You’re inviting them to an after-party which isn’t on the same level as the wedding; if they miss it due to prior obligation, they’re just missing a party.
If you sent me an e-vite and invited me just to the bar portion of your event, I’d feel like a second-class citizen.
Post # 7
@celicacutie: I received an invite to ‘come and dance the night away’ with a couple. I was invited to the after party but not the ceremony/dinner.
I would do a cute e-vite saying ‘we’re getting married and we want you to come party the night away with us to celebrate – party to start at xx time at xx location – bride and groom will arrive at x’ or something to make it clear that the party is after the wedding…
ETA: I would limit the ceremony to family only – that way you’re not putting your friends on different levels, if that makes sense. FH’s cousin had to do that – her cute school house for the ceremony only held 40 people – they then had a big reception at their cottage
Post # 8
@Horseradish: we aren’t having a reception, maybe I wasnt clear? Our “bar portion” as you put it is our reception. Can’t see why someone would feel like a second class citizen being invited to that?
we also aren’t registering, our wedding is super small, no bridal party so I doubt I would have a bridal shower. We’re in our mid 30s, pretty have everything we need already.
Post # 9
@celicacutie: Maybe I worded it wrong but I would feel like a second class citizen if I were sent an electronic invite to the “pay your own way” party while others were invited to share a meal. It’s like you like me enough to invite me along when it doesn’t cost you anything but not enough to invite me when you have to buy me cocktails and finger food. I know it is space and not budget that is imposing those constraints but I’m just saying what your guests might feel. Then to not even spend $5 on an actual invite, it’s kind of cold.
Also you may say you’re not having a reception, but if you’re having a cocktail hour, cake, and dancing after the wedding…. that’s a reception. You can call it what you want but those are the activities commonly associated with wedding reception, and your guests are apt to make the same conclusion, regardless of what nametag you put on it.
Post # 10
@Horseradish: I don’t consider it a reception. It’s to last an hour, cocktail tables set up, no meal served. The after party is where we are having food and open bar the whole night…no one is “paying their way”
I appreciate all the suggestions
Post # 11
- Wedding: October 2014 - UK
@celicacutie: I would send them a separate invitation. This sort of tiered reception thing is pretty common in the UK, and people invited for the ‘evening do’ tend to get an invitation like the rest of the guests, but only containing information for the evening portion.
The last wedding I was invited for the evening portion of was a bit more informal than others, so they didn’t include the registry information in the invites as is customary over here, and we just got sent an email later that they had a honeyfund set up.
It was a good night though! Yours sounds like it will be loads of fun. I am super down for mini-burgers.
Post # 12
I think it depends on where you’re from. This may be common where you live, but where I’m from it wouldn’t fly. If this is something that is commonly done in your area, I would send the extra people their own invitations. 5-10 invitations shouldn’t break the bank, and you could even print them yourself to save money.
Post # 13
@celicacutie: I think what PP’s may be suggesting about this is that it’s sort of like telling your guests that you’d like to party with them, but they aren’t quite important enough to you to be invited to the ceremony. 1st class gets ceremony and party, 2nd class gets party only. I think sometimes there’s a concern about whether guests are expected (or feel that they are expected) to bring gifts even though they weren’t invited to everything.
I think maybe a phone call would work well, or mention to it when you see these friends. That way you can at least explain that you’d love to see them and your venue was just too small to fit everyone that you wanted. I think as long as they understand the situation, everyone would be happy to come to the after party. It sounds like fun!
Post # 14
i think I would make the main invitation pertaining to the after-party and add an insert with ceremony details for those invited to the actual wedding.
Post # 15
I agree that if you invite some friends to just the after party that you have a family only cermony.
Post # 16
@celicacutie: A lot of the UK brides have tiered weddings where some are invited to the ceremony and others to the adter party as you call it. invite who you want to the ceremony and send a separate invite to the people you are inviting to the party.