(Closed) invited to bachelorette party but not wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You should probably keep the bachelorette to just those invited to the wedding.

I was recently invited to a co-workers bachelorette party, but I was not invited to the wedding. It struck me as odd. In her case I thought “she doesn’t have enough female friends to have a bachelorette party that she has to start inviting people who aren’t invited to her wedding?”

I was a little offended and declined the invite.

Post # 4
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

In my opinion, the bachelorette party doesn’t matter- invite who you want. I believe the shower should be close family/friends who are invited to the wedding, but the bachelorette party is just a fun night out to celebrate the bride. They don’t have to bring a gift, They pay for their drinks just like every other time out at the bar, etc. Invite who you want, and if they don’t want to come, they won’t.

Post # 5
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I agree.  This has happened to me too and I was also a bit offended and just told her I couldn’t make it.

Post # 6
7349 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I was invited to a friend’s sister’s bachelorette and not to the wedding.  I was totally fine with it because I really like the girl but also knew she was having a super small wedding.  But I think it depends on the people and your relationship with them

Post # 7
18645 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I wouldn’t invite anyone to a pre-wedding event (shower or bachelorette party) without them being invited to the wedding.

Post # 8
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Yeah, I think this is a no-no.  Unless your situation is really specific…i.e. you’re only inviting family to your wedding.  Otherwise, I think you need to keep the bachelorette party to just those friends invited to the wedding.

Post # 9
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would be upset if I were the one invited under such circumstances. It’s just really awkward to include people in wedding festivities if they are not invited. It’s like telling them that they’re not important enough to make the cut.

Maybe you could have a completely non-wedding-related cookout to have a good time with the people you can’t invite.

Post # 10
29 posts
  • Wedding: November 2010

I understand where you’re coming from, because I’m planning on doing the same thing. We are having 40 people (including my Fiance and I) at our wedding, and even that was stretching our guest list, we originally planned on 30. I have so many friends that I would love to have come, but if I had invited everyone to our wedding there’s no way we could afford it. I still really want my friends to be part of my bachelorette party, and I think they understand why they aren’t invited to the wedding. So I think, as long as your friends understand the reasons they aren’t invited to the wedding it’s ok.

Post # 11
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Yeah… I wouldn’t invite anyone to a pre-wedding event that I wasn’t able to invite to the wedding. Especially because most of the time people will buy you a gift for an event like this and I would just feel guilty taking a gift from someone that I didn’t even invite to the wedding. You might offend some people, so if you want to spend time with them I would just do that through a separate occassion.

Post # 13
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

No, no, no!  Honestly, I think this would most likely really hurt their feelings when they find out they aren’t invited to the wedding.  Most bachelorette parties entail the girls all paying for the bride to have a wonderful night.  It’s not nice to ask them to celebrate your last night as a single lady and pay for you, but you not want to pay for them to enjoy your wedding with you.  If they are that important to you, you should invite them to the wedding.  If not, then don’t invite them to the bachelorette party.

Post # 14
1104 posts
Bumble bee

Normally I agree that pre-wedding parties are just for wedding guests. But for my bachelorette there were a few co-workers I wanted to invite, who weren’t invited to the wedding (I didn’t invite any co-workers due to space limitations). We had the kind of relationship where I could email them all a few days before invites went out saying “I know this is an etiquette faux pas because I didn’t have the space to invite you to the wedding, but I would still really love to celebrate with you all.” It was just drinks and dinner, and no one had to pay for me as my bridesmaids did that. Some declined and others came, but I didn’t get the sense anyone was offended – I know I wouldn’t be if it was done in the right way.

Post # 16
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’ve been to bachelorette parties for people who’s weddings I was not invited to and also, there were a couple girls that went to mine that I didn’t invite to my wedding.

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