(Closed) Invited to bridal shower and no response – need to invite them to wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Yes, you still need to invite them to your wedding – otherwise it will look like you just invited them to the shower to get gifts out of them.  Not everyone goes to a shower, especially a cousin’s fiancee who they probably don’t know well (if at all).  I would not be offended that these people didn’t show up or send a gift.  They may still go to your wedding and give you both something nice.

Post # 4
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yes, you need to invite them.  They may have been busy and couldn’t attend.  If you don’t send them an invite, then they are going to think they were only invited to the shower which is gift grabby and rude.  Don’t list to those friends!! lol.  Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
5671 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Etiquette states you still need to invite them but I don’t know if I necessarily agree.

I understand if someone couldn’t attend and didn’t send a gift, but failing to even reply or acknowledge makes it seem like they don’t care about the wedding at all. If I invited someone to my shower and they failed to acknowledge the invite- no response, no gifts etc. and I didn’t invite them to the wedding I don’t see how that was me just asking for a gift when I was actually asking them to attend and if not let me know. If I invited someone who showed that they could really care less about my shower, would I put myself out there and ask them to come to the wedding?

But I guess to save face it can’t hurt to send a wedding invite. The only thing it will cost you is a stamp.

Post # 6
Member
7153 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

According to etiquette, yes you should still invite them.

Post # 7
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

Yes, you need to invite them.  Based on their non-response to your shower, they probably will not come to the wedding, but you have to invite them anyway.

Post # 8
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Yes, you should still invite them. My shower is next weekend, and up until a few days ago, my sister/MOH was chasing down half of FI’s side who failed to RSVP to my shower. If there’s anything I’ve learned throughout this entire wedding planning experience, it’s that sometimes the concept of etiquette is completely lost on some people. Don’t let someone else’s behavior change who YOU are.

Post # 9
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Some people just don’t get etiquette and don’t understand why they still need to RSVP even if it is a no.

That being said, yes you need to invite them. If they were included on the shower invite list, they need to be on the wedding list too.

I feel your pain though, my family has a million cousins and I don’t think i’m going to invite a group of them (because aside from being related, we don’t communicate, not a negative thing, just a long distance, families not close thing) but if I were to invite them to my shower, I would invite them to the wedding.

If they didn’t even send a card, I wouldn’t count on a “yes” to the wedding. Unless they just realllly don’t pay attention to etiquette.

Post # 11
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think many people, especially those that haven’t done any wedding planning, probably don’t know the proper etiquette for RSVPing.  Some may think they only need to RSVP if it’s a yes and can just skip it if it’s a no.  Especially with showers that may be less formal and it doesn’t matter how many people are actually attending or not.

Before I started my own wedding planning, I was only invited to one bridal shower, and the RSVP was “Regrets Only” so you only had to call if you weren’t going and didn’t need to call if you were going.  I assume your shower invites said “RSVP” and they probably thought they only needed to call if they were going.

Post # 12
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

You should still invite them to the wedding. I never went to any of my cousin’s fiancee’s showers but then again they all lived out of driving distance. I did go to everyone of their weddings though.  

Post # 13
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

send them the invites, BUT don’t count on them coming. Invite the people from your “B” list in their place and send their invites out at the same time. Some people are so darn rude. They should have responsed and if they couldn’t come have sent a gift. Don’t worry — they probably won’t come to the wedding!

Post # 14
Member
1129 posts
Bumble bee

I want to second Adira’s comments that MANY people, myself included, had absolutely no idea prior to planning their own wedding that you are supposed to RSVP if you are not going to attend.  I have made this error many times over, not out of being rude jsut out of lack of knowledge.

Mama didn’t make me send thank you cards either, so maybe I’m a bad seed who never learned!

Post # 15
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@christalynn11: You never sent thank you’s as a child when you received gifts? Are you planning on sending wedding wedding thank you’s?

Post # 16
Member
1129 posts
Bumble bee

@east coast bride: hahahahah!  YES!  I really didn’t ever send thank yous as a kid though, so while I was being silly/tongue-in-cheek, that was also the truth.  I send thank you notes all the time as an adult..  I love my mom, but most of my manners I learned from people other than her.

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