Post # 1
I received a bridal shower invite today and I’m not entirely sure how to respond. The bride is a woman I’ve never met/seen before and she will be marrying one of my husband’s grad school classmates later this spring. I was not expecting an invite to this event since we are not acquaintances/friends and my husband is not involved in the wedding party or anything like that. I don’t think I’d be comfortable going to the bridal shower but should I still send a shower gift? (The registry information was printed right on the invite, of course. Haha.)
Most of my close friends are married so I thought I was done with all of the wedding-related etiquette questions! I guess not : /
Post # 2
Just decline. You don’t need to send a gift.
Post # 3
decline. you dont have to attend every event you get invited to. And i would only say send a gift if you knew her.
Post # 4
I say decline. You don’t have to go or send a gift because you don’t know her at all.
Post # 5
I would decline. If we are invited to the wedding, I would send a small gift.
Post # 6
blushbashful: Simply decline. I wouldn’t send a gift.
Post # 7
It’s already been said, but I would decline. She could have invited you to get to know you better, but it seems awkward to meet for the first time at her bridal shower…
Post # 8
I would just decline and not send a gift since you dont know her. Likely whoever is throwing her the shower got a list of the women attending or invited to the wedding and did the shower guest list from that, not knowing that you hadn’t met.
Post # 9
Maybe the point was to invite some women she wasn’t familiar with so the wedding wasn’t the first time you met.
But, I would decline and not send a gift. She invited you but shouldn’t expect you (a stranger) to go or send a gift. You are the wife of her husbands college friend, so I guess I don’t even see why she invited you except for the reason I stated above or to get gifts.
Post # 10
blushbashful: This happened to me! When my FI’s friend was getting married, I barely knew them. We had just started dating ourselves. I had met the girl maybe twice, and then I got an invitation to her bridal shower?? I thought it was weird but I guess her sister (who coordinated it) just invited all the SO’s of the men who were invited?
Fast forward four years, both these people are now in our wedidng and we’re best friends lol.
In short, don’t go, don’t send a gift 🙂 Esp if you’re never going to see her again. We had a budding relationship with these people, so I got her a set of martini glasses from Home Goods and gave them to her next time I saw her.
Post # 11
They may have given shower invites to all of the women who will be invited to the wedding. My FMIL insisted I do that for my shower as not to offend anyone (um, no). I agree with the others- decline with no gift. If you really feel awkward, send the smallest random thing on the registry.
Post # 12
blushbashful: I would just decline. it’s a nice gesture to invite you but if you arent comfortable going or don’t really know her there’s no reason to go 🙂
Post # 14
Thanks for all of the responses! I will decline without any guilty feelings! : )
On an unrelated note, it was nice to get some pretty snail mail!
Post # 15
blushbashful: Who is hosting the shower? What happened for my shower is that I sent a list of invites to my FFIL of who I would like to invite. When I got there I was confused. Every single female was invited– +1s to his family friends that I have never met. I felt so awkward, but that is how they do it. That is how my grandmother did it when my mom had her shower too (except she invited every female she knew, regardless if they were invited to the wedding or not).
The bride may not know you are invited and probably had no control over the guest list. I would politely decline and not send a gift.