invited to bridal shower … but i don't know the bride!

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Just decline. You don’t need to send a gift.

Post # 3
Member
3835 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

decline. you dont have to attend every event you get invited to.  And i would only say send a gift if you knew her. 

Post # 4
Member
7656 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I say decline. You don’t have to go or send a gift because you don’t know her at all.

Post # 5
Member
44958 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would decline. If we are invited to the wedding, I would send a small gift.

Post # 6
Member
4518 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

blushbashful:   Simply decline.   I wouldn’t send a gift.  

Post # 7
Member
2126 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

It’s already been said, but I would decline. She could have invited you to get to know you better, but it seems awkward to meet for the first time at her bridal shower…

Post # 8
Member
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I would just decline and not send a gift since you dont know her.  Likely whoever is throwing her the shower got a list of the women attending or invited to the wedding and did the shower guest list from that, not knowing that you hadn’t met. 

Post # 9
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Maybe the point was to invite some women she wasn’t familiar with so the wedding wasn’t the first time you met.

But, I would decline and not send a gift. She invited you but shouldn’t expect you (a stranger) to go or send a gift. You are the wife of her husbands college friend, so I guess I don’t even see why she invited you except for the reason I stated above or to get gifts. 

Post # 10
Member
2354 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

 

blushbashful:  This happened to me!  When my FI’s friend was getting married, I barely knew them.  We had just started dating ourselves.  I had met the girl maybe twice, and then I got an invitation to her bridal shower??  I thought it was weird but I guess her sister (who coordinated it) just invited all the SO’s of the men who were invited?

Fast forward four years, both these people are now in our wedidng and we’re best friends lol. 

In short, don’t go, don’t send a gift 🙂  Esp if you’re never going to see her again.  We had a budding relationship with these people, so I got her a set of martini glasses from Home Goods and gave them to her next time I saw her. 

Post # 11
Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

They may have given shower invites to all of the women who will be invited to the wedding.  My FMIL insisted I do that for my shower as not to offend anyone (um, no). I agree with the others- decline with no gift.  If you really feel awkward, send the smallest random thing on the registry. 

Post # 12
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

blushbashful:  I would just decline.  it’s a nice gesture to invite you but if you arent comfortable going or don’t really know her there’s no reason to go 🙂

Post # 13
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Backyard

I would just decline.

Post # 15
Member
3732 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

blushbashful:  Who is hosting the shower? What happened for my shower is that I sent a list of invites to my FFIL of who I would like to invite. When I got there I was confused. Every single female was invited– +1s to his family friends that I have never met. I felt so awkward, but that is how they do it. That is how my grandmother did it when my mom had her shower too (except she invited every female she knew, regardless if they were invited to the wedding or not).

The bride may not know you are invited and probably had no control over the guest list. I would politely decline and not send a gift.

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