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A co-worker of mine just got married and invited me to her bachelorette party but not the wedding, she actually did this to several people. I didn't end up going, it is rude.
Yeah, it comes off as gift-grabby to me. Unless it's a DW or super small immediate family wedding or something. But I definitely think it's rude.
in your situation yes, it seems off. one of my co workers invited me to her bridal shower and we aren't that close so I didn't go and then I get an invite to her wedding, less than 2 weeks before her wedding...talk about being on the last cut. i thought that was weird. it actually kinda mad eme mad.
Yeah, that is rude. Even if the intention was to get in touch after so much time had passed, there are better ways to go about it.
yes i think that is totally rude to be invited to the bridal shower but not the wedding have just recently been to a bridal shower where many and most of the poeple who were invited to that didnt get a nvite to the wedding
I definitely think its an over-sight (and rude in the grand scheme but most people don't think about it that way), but I also think your timelines are a little off - a wedding invitation isn't necessarily sent out 3 months before the wedding, and I think a shower 2 months before is totally fine.
@KristenGotMarried:Yes, but her wedding is also less then a month away at this point. And she does not have my address and has not asked for it in order to invite me, so I take it as I'm NOT being invited to the wedding and just to the bridal shower.
Very rude. The best thing to do is decline the invite. Send a card if you want but don't bother to attend since you didn't make the cut for the wedding.
I am inviting some "acquaintances" to my hen's night but not the wedding - our wedding is very small (only 50). Is that different cos we don't give gifts at hen's nights?? Basically I am inviting them as they are friends of friends and we always have a great time when we party together but we aren't "friends" as such. I see the hen's as a night to drink and play silly games so I see know harm in inviting some extras to that (they are always up for a good night out anyway), maybe we are different in Australia (or just my group of friends) as none of us have bridal showers just the hen's.
I was put in a similar situation with a former coworker. She invited me to her bridal shower and not her wedding. I took it as snub...I'm not a good enough friend to even warrant an invite to your wedding but I can give you lingerie??? Im still bothered by this, mostly because thus girl Once touted that she wanted to be my moh.
I wondered if people do this. I had a coworker invite all of us to her bachelorette party, but none of us were invited to the wedding. I think it was her way of including all of us, since she couldn't have us at the wedding. However, if you havent spoken to someone in years and they invite you to the shower but not the wedding, I would label that as "gift grabby" and click 'no'.
I actually think it's totally ok to invite people to a bachelorette party that aren't invited to a wedding (there's not usually gifts involved). But to not invite someone to a shower that's not invited to a wedding- GIFT GRAB!
@ShellVee: I think that what you are doing is fine. i too, am having a small wedding but I have tons of aquaintences, that I will be inviting to my bachelor party. I think its the same as inviting a bunch of friends to go out :).
Without a doubt what your neighbor did was rude. you shouldnt ask for a gift and not invite someone to the wedding.
I am so glad I found this thread. This has bothered me for months especially since I have been planning a wedding this entire time.
So, one of my best friends who will be a BM in my wedding threw a shower for one of HER friends who I only know through her. She set up a facebook event page asking for all of our addresses, and asked again when she lost them. (And again. And again.) At this point I'm assuming I'm invited, so I start browsing the girl's registry and asking my friend what she wants, is there another registry, etc etc...the mailed invitations go out, and I never receive one. Neither did half the guests. My friend posts on fb "whooopsieee..." (she's typically scatterbrained but this is why we keep her around) so, no big deal, it's to be expected of her..as the day grows nearer, another friend and I (she didn't get her invite either) are planning on riding together, etc etc...
I mention to the shower host friend something about the wedding and she says, "Oh, you can probably come to the reception but she probably won't invite you to the wedding." What? But I can come to the shower? But I can send a gift? There are too many "probably"s in that statement for me. I thought, surely, these girls were raised right (they are in their early 20s and I am in my early early early 30s :/) and wouldn't invite someone to the shower and NOT the wedding.
So after all that, I didn't go to the shower. Neither did the other friend that didn't get the invite. We agreed it was rude. The day after, the host friend texts me 100 times and asks why I didn't show. Seriously? I don't like to stir the pot, but I didn't receive an invite......I wasn't invited to the wedding (it was huge)....I gave her the "We announced to our family we were moving, it was an emotional day" excuse. (all true, family drama) I know, I know...I suck.
I didn't mention it to either girl. I made the appropriate comments on her wedding pics when they popped up in my facebook newsfeed "love the dress!" and "GAHHHHH shoes!!!"
Gift grab, anyone? It kind of hurts your feelings. So I will make sure my BMs know that no none should be invited to my shower unless they are on the wedding list.
It's extremely rude and no real excuse for it.
They are telling you that you are good enough to spend your money on them, but that you are not good enough for them to spend their money on you.
Yes, I'd be miffed.
No one should be invited to any pre-wedding parties (engagement party, shower, bachelorette) if they are not invited to the wedding. The only 2 exceptions are work and church only showers.
OP, this is terribly rude of your neighbor.
I'm just going to point out that it is very likely someone else is hosting the shower - her bridesmaid, her mother, her FMIL, etc, and not the bride herself. Yes, those people hosting should inquire about who's invited to the wedding, but that doesn't always happen.
My MIL hosted a shower for me and there were several of here "church friends" that came that were not invited to the wedding. What was I supposed to do - get mad at my MIL? No - I'm gracious to her for throwing a party in my honour.
Definitely rude! If she didn't plan on inviting you to the wedding, she shouldn't have invited you to any pre-wedding parties.
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So, my old neighbor is getting married next month. I was invited via facebook (she set up an event instead of using invites) to her Bridal Shower that was last month. She and I have not spoken in years because I moved and shes several years older, so she was away at college. I did not attend her bridal shower because of those reasons and also because her bridal shower was 2 months before the wedding (which is kinda cutting it close), but I had NOT received an invite to the wedding, which is usually sent out 3 months prior to the wedding. She also does not have my address and did not ask for it in order to invite me to the wedding.
Doesn't it seem kinda...rude to invite invite someone to your bridal shower but NOT your wedding?? I was always told that you always invite those who you are inviting to your wedding to your engagement party and bridal shower. Why would you invite someone to your bridal shower but not your wedding? This just seems..odd to me...I'd never invite someone to one and not the other.