(Closed) Invited to engagement party but not wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would invite them.  Seems rude not to invite them after having them celebrate your engagement.

Post # 4
Member
4729 posts
Honey bee

I would invite them too. I’d be pretty peeved if someone invited me to their engagement party but not their wedding. It seems similar to being invited to the bridal shower and not the wedding. 

Post # 5
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If you’re not close, why in the world would you invite them to your engagement party? Everyone invited to engagement parties and bridal showers must be invited to the wedding. It’s super rude to say, “youre good enough to bring a gift, but not good enough to come to the wedding.”

Post # 6
Member
9552 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

It sucks but now that you’ve invited them to the engagement part you have to invite them to the wedding. Think about that before you create ou shower invite lists as well! 

Post # 7
Member
1164 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I think that you should invite them. In my opinion, you can invite people to the wedding but not necessarily to your engagement party/bridal shower depending on how close you are, but you can’t do the opposite by inviting them to the smaller celebration (the engagement party), but not the bigger one (the wedding)

Post # 8
Hostess
8580 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

@cmbr:  The answer is obvious here! Gifts!!!!

You should invite them to the wedding if you invited them to the shower. It’s pretty poor character to do otherwise.

Post # 9
Member
5371 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

You really should invite them to the wedding since you invited them to a wedding-related event. I agree with PPs that you should keep that in mind when it comes to your shower 😉

 

Post # 11
Member
4049 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@doubtingdebbieah:  You should always invite serious partners to the wedding, even if you don’t know them. Some people may keep it to a living together or fiance/fiancee policy, and some will extend it to all serious relationships. At the very least, give +1s if the partner lives with them or is engaged.

Post # 12
Member
1164 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I think it comes down to inviting the same people to the engagement party and to the wedding.  If you know these people are in a relationship or any kind, serious or not, write “and guest” on the invitation, and then the person you’re inviting will decide if they want to bring their SO or not

Post # 13
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Honestly, I don’t think I would invite them.  I don’t think that an engagement party is in the same league with a bridal shower or something.

 

If you aren’t that close to them, then I don’t know….sometimes I feel the “rules of etiquette” aren’t finite.

 

 

Post # 14
Member
4729 posts
Honey bee

@doubtingdebbieah:  Always invite serious bf/gfs. You don’t have to invite the casual fling, relationships under a month or so, or give every single person a +1. But if they’re serious, live together, engaged, married, etc. then yes, you do. 

Post # 15
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If it’s just two, whats the harm in inviting them? If they are not close, as you said, they may not even come. Even if they do, I am sure somewhere else on your guestlist two people will decline. You mentioned that they were classmates- it could damage your relationship with them and others depnding on your program size, etc. As others have said it would come down to “well they invited me of my engagement gift, now I am not good enough for the weddint, etc.” 

Post # 16
Member
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m going to go against what everybody is saying. If they came to the part  and didnt bring you a gift… I’m going to say you dont have to invite them if you grew apart from them. I would just explain to them that you hadnt started planning the wedding when you had your engagement party and now you are keeping it only very close friends and family. BUT if you are inviting 100+ people, yeah I would be hurt if I wasnt invited and saw alllll of those other people were.

The topic ‘Invited to engagement party but not wedding?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors