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If it were me, I wouldn't go. Honestly, the four hour drive, the fact that you're not close to her and that the invite came late would seal the deal for me. Have you asked your brother if he'd be upset if you didn't go?
Nope I havent... I really wanted to have a pro cons list before giving him a call and telling him if I can or cant. I know he would be cruisy.. Im just not sure how she will react-because I dont know her so well, if I dont go. What im wondering more would she be offended if i didnt go. Thats why Im feeling obligated maybe?
Hmmmm.... that is tough. I'm kinda lazy, and wouldn't drive four hours, lol.
I think you have to go but maybe its because to me a 4 hour drive is nothing. Its your brothers future wife shouldn't you try to get to know her better. I don't know, I know I'd feel obligated.
what is a hens party? never heard of it.. and IDK.. If I had a FSIL, I would feel obligated to do anything she invited me to. lol 4 hours is a long drive, and I'm like Layla, if it's over an hour I probably won't do it. I don't have a FSIL, but if I did I would probably try really hard to make it.
crane, what does 'cruisy' mean? I don't mean to sound like an ignorant american :( but I guess I am. is it a good thing or bad thing?
I'd say you don't have to go. Maybe when you go up for the wedding (are you going early?) you and she can get your nails done or something like that together, something that would allow you to chat with her more and actually get to know her some :) instead of just drinking together.
Hmmm, I wonder why it was sent late - do you know what the "night on the town" involves? I think that could be a big deciding factor. Like if it involved strippers, that could be weird if you're the groom's sister, so she probably wouldn't expect you to come. But if its something low key, maybe she does want you to go.
sorry 'cruisy' australian slang term: No dramas, no worries, laid back attitude?
There actually have the wedding down here :) in my parents back yard.
Mimosa: hens party is a bachelorette party? Celebration of so called singledom into marriage? think thats the best that I can describe it.
Im torn. I really think I should make the drive, but with the late invite, the cost of driving up for one night only to watch people get drunk is not really appealing.
But everything is telling me, that 'charis, get your act together, tough it out and go!'
No, see, I kind of feel like the invite coming late (and apparently no one calling you to get your RSVP?) is kind of the sign that she did it to be nice and doesn't expect you to come. I think if she's going to be out drinking and celebrating, she might feel more comfortable to do it with her friends and might feel awkward in front of you since you're not close, too! I'd let this one go and stay home... and just offer extra help with the wedding when she comes down so she knows you still want to get to know her.
I agree with Labor of Love, I think she sent the invite to be nice, since it came late and after RSVP's.
Thanks for the opinion girls, laboroflove I think your on to it. I hate getting a late invite, or maybe there disorganise like the rest of their wedding? who knows.
I just called my mum, she says.. dont go not worth it.
Im already doing the photography for their wedding, and I have taken the day off work before their wedding to help out with last minute things :)
The weight is off my shoulders. THANK YOU!!
You could perhaps find out where they will be going and send a bottle of champagne (with all your love...)?
I would try and find a way to go. Can you spend the night over there since it's a long drive? When my FSIL got married (about 2.5 years ago) I went to her bachelorette, and I'm glad I did! It gave me an opportunity to get to know her better and now that I'm getting married it is nice to have already established a relationship with her.
If there's another wedding-related event that you can attend, like a shower, then I don't think it's a very big deal to skip it. Otherwise, I'd go.
I would go. I wish my FSIL came to my hen night, heck I wish someone had been kind enough to throw me a uk hen night. In anycase, it'd be a nice chance for you to see her in a different setting and get to know her better. Can you spend the night up there?
dorsay: decided not to go, I just cant justify it. If she gave me a weeks more notice, I think I couldve worked it out in our budget for the month. We had a bill arrive last night that was the final nail in the coffin about going.
However I spoke to her on the phone last night and she seemed okay about it and said she was looking forward to catching up before the wedding, She is going to come down a few days early than planned and I will catch up with her then :)
It all worked out, I was just feeling so obligated to go!
I just wanted to add that I FLOVE the term "Hen Party." I googled it and it took me to the Wiki entry for Bacholorette night. I just emailed my MOH and told her I want my party to be called "Hen Party." :D
i'm a little late since you already decided, but i wanted to say that i def think it's okay to not go, but i'd probably offer to take her out for dinner/coffee/drinks at another time that's more convenient!
Can you drag a friend to go w/ you? Might turn out to be better than you thought? :)
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Hello!
My brother is getting married on the 6th of Feb - so not far away! and his future wife is having a hens party on Saturday 30th of Jan.
My dilemma is that I live 4hrs drive away and also I only recieved the invitation yesterday in the mail and the RSVP date was yesterday. Shes going out for a dinner first and then heading for what I presume a night out on the town.
At the moment, I am feeling that im obligated to go as I am the only sister my brother has. And that I really should make an effort as I dont really know my FSIL (well 'hung' out without my brother)
On the other hand Its a 4hr drive and I will have to drive up.. go to the event sat night and then drive back on the sunday and Im not much of a drinker (where I have a feeling she can party like there is no tomorrow). So it makes me not want to go as I dont really enjoy myself around drunk people.
What would you do? Would you feel obligated to go?