(Closed) Invited to Shower and not Bachelorette Party? Was that rude?

posted 8 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Should I have been invited to the bachelorette party too?
    Yes, that was rude : (3 votes)
    4 %
    No, it's okay to invite you only to the shower : (65 votes)
    93 %
    Other, I'll Explain : (2 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    4512 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I hear you, but I think for some people the bachelorette party is for the inner circle only, so I wouldn’t feel bad. Inviting you to the shower is no more of a gift-grab than it is for everyone else…. 🙂

    Post # 4
    16216 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I think that this is often how it’s done, at least in my experience. Showers are a much larger gathering with friends, family, etc. Many bachelorette parties (though not all, of course) include only the wedding party and very few other guests.

    I know that if I invited every friend who will be invited to my shower and wedding, my bachelorette party would be HUGE and totally unfeasible.

    I personally have been in the situation a couple of times. To me, it was perfectly logical and I didn’t feel like I was being used for a gift only. However, I realize that’s not how you’re viewing this, and I’m sorry your feelings are hurt.

    Post # 5
    1317 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    My friends have had more than 1 bachelorette party – thrown by different sets of friends. One set of friends are close, while another would be her work friends. But regardless, the bride isn’t supposed to be in charge of that – the Maid/Matron of Honor is. Perhaps her Maid/Matron of Honor didn’t invite everyone, did things last minute, or had a very small budget?

    I was Maid/Matron of Honor at my best friend’s wedding and she didn’t know a thing, aside from when and what city (Vegas) but all the other details were a surprise to her. We also had a hard time tracking down everyone she knew: there were childhood friends, college friends, her sorority sisters, and a lot of them were from out of town/state. In the end, we decided to keep the party small.

    Don’t feel bad because she probably didn’t organize it. Where I’m from, it’s supposed to be a surprise!

    Post # 7
    1066 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    a lot of times, the bachelorette party is only for the bridal party members.

    Post # 9
    1184 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    every bachelorette party i’ve been to has been bridesmaids only, and i’ve gone to showers without being invited to the bach party. although i understand how you might feel slighted, especially since you invited her to yours, i wouldn’t jump to conclusions, she probably just kept it small and limited to the bridal party.

    Post # 10
    16216 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    @Mrs. Alias: You’re right. Being in the same circle of friends makes it a lot tougher. I’m really sorry this happened to you.

    Post # 11
    979 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Its rude if you are really good friends and you do things together all of the time.  I’ve only been to one big bachleorette party and that was probably because they needed more people to help pay for the limo.  I would not feel bad, it would be worse to be invited to the bachlorette party and not the wedding.

    Post # 12
    2015 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    Yeah, I have to agree that often, the b’ette party is for really close friends. These days, it’s more and more common to only invite family and friends you’re really close with, making it a more intimate celebration.

    I would try to put it behind you, and happily attend the wedding knowing this friend wanted you there to celebrate with her.

    Post # 13
    1288 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union

    I don’t think a shower invite equates a bach invite at all. I see that you’re good friends, but you’re not in the bridal party — they’ve probably limited it to just bridesmaids. Maybe I’d start to feel hurt if non-bridesmaids were coming, but we don’t know that.

    Post # 14
    4001 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I guess it really depends on the bachelorette party itself.  It could of been an intimate crowd.  I would definitely be offended at first, but I think you should find out the circumstances.  I know that I went to a bachelorette party for a friend of mine that she only wanted a few people to attend.  We were all friends in college, we all knew each other and had travelled together before.  The other girls were still invited to the shower though.

    Post # 16
    2714 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I understand that you are close friends, but sometimes the bachelorette party is only for the bridesmaids. I was recently in a wedding where ONLY the bridal party was invited, so other close friends who were invited to the shower and wedding were not included in the bachelorette party. That’s just want the bride told the Maid/Matron of Honor she wanted. Like @ribbons: said, we don’t know if other girls outside of the bridal party were invited, so it’s hard to tell if you should really be upset about this.

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