Post # 1
Both weddings are about 125 miles from me. The weddings are approximately 20 miles apart.
Wedding A is at 4PM. I only know the groom and his immediate family, there will be 200+ guests.
Wedding B is at 5PM, I will know about a third of the 100 guests, including some members of my own family.
I could go go to ceremony only for wedding A and race to wedding B. I would say in the RSVP to Wedding A that I could not stay for reception. My question…..is this rude?
i could completely decline one of the invitations. There is absolutely no overlap of guests between these 2 weddings.
Both MOB’s are easily offended, must tread lightly LOL.
I would prefer to attend wedding B. I will send gifts to both whatever my decision.
Has anybody been in this situation? RSVPs not due for 2 more weeks.
Post # 3
@CharBell: So obviously you should go to wedding B. But the question is, could you go to the ceremony for A and still make it to the ceremony for B? You don’t want to walk in late to the ceremony…. I guess it depends on how long the ceremony will be, and it might be awkward to ask.
Post # 4
@CharBell: if I were you, I’d decline A completely and attend B. I think trying to attend A then rush to B would probably offend the MOBs even more, since that’s your concern, and just be a pain for you.
Post # 5
I did this, expect it was 3 weddings the same day. I declined one because it was 30 miles away. The others I went to the noon (outdoor in July, no shade!) ceremony, about died of heat stroke, swung by my house to wipe off the sweat and sped to a 2pm ceremony a few towns over. I only went to reception for wedding B because although it was my family and I knew everyone there, it was a second wedding, so I just left after the ceremony. I think going to the ceremony for the first wedding and staying at the second is fine, as long as you let them know then it’s not rude.
Post # 7
i would attend only the ceremony of the first and try to make it to the 2nd ceremony.
what time are the receptions?
it sounds like the 2nd wedding is personally closer to you.
i went to 2 weddings in one day before.
luckily the first one was earlier in the day. i attended the first ceremony and afternoon reception, i skipped the 2nd ceremony and went straight to their reception at 6. i really wanted to attend and spend time with both brides. one was a close friend from work and the other my cousin.
Post # 8
I know how you feel.. Two of my best friends (they don’t know each other (but know of each other), I talk to both daily) have planned (& booked) their weddings for the same day 28 Feb 2015!!! In 2 different states! Pretty devestating to say the least.
The wedding that I chose to go to is my best friend of 10 years, she lives out of state, I am BM at her wedding.. the one that I declined is a friend that I met at the start of this year but basically see every weekend, this weekend we’re going dress shopping, I’m quite upset that we can’t make it to her wedding.. and we can’t even make it to their engagment party as partner has something we can’t get out of and we will be leaving for another country within hrs of the party end.. It’s also super shitty because I don’t have many girlfriends.
Sorry for my life story, nice to be able to talk about it..
I think you should choose to go to the wedding that you will regret missing the most.
Post # 9
I would just go to B and send A a nice gift. If there is no receiving line, seems kind of like a waste to even go to A (unless you really enjoy ceremonies).
Post # 10
@CharBell: Is your fiance closer to A than B? (i.e. do you know the groom at wedding A via your fiance?) If so, I think the best option is to split up: he attends wedding A, you attend wedding B.
Otherwise, B sounds best.
p.s. you’d do 20 miles in about 30 minutes, at best. I don’t think it’s possible to leave after A without being late for B. I think you need to rule out that option.
Post # 11
Decline the invitation to wedding A and go to wedding B only. I’d rather choose that than try to swing both — what if wedding A starts late and/or runs long? Wouldn’t want to leave the first ceremony early, and it would be rude to arrive late to the second.
Post # 12
One of my guests was in a similar situation. FIs ex is getting married the same day and FIs best friend and his wife were invited to both weddings. Both wedding started same time. Instead of FIs best friend coming to our wedding and his wife going to her friends they said they would both go to our ceremony and the exs reception. Needless to say they are now only attending the exs wedding because FI has told them they are no longer wlcome in our life.
I think its incredibly rude to say to someone that you will only attend the ceremony, id perfer a flat out decline.
Post # 13
I say definitely B. It’ll probably hurt them more if you say you have to leave partway through the wedding than if you would say ‘Oh, i’m sorry but I have already RSVP’d to another wedding on that day!”
Post # 14
I would decline A and go to B. FI has a friend who also has a another wedding on the same date as ours. He feels obligated to go to the other weddings reception as he thinks that he heard the date of theirs before ours. So he wants to go to their church ceremony, then come to our ceremony which is later in the day then leave again and go to their reception. It’s a nice sentiment but to be honest I think he should not bother about racing around and just leave it at going to the other wedding. He already chose their reception to go to which is the main part of the day anyway (time/interaction wise).
Post # 15
I would opt for just attending wedding B and sending a gift to wedding A. Just make sure to send a gift 🙂
Post # 16
@Pokemon: Really? I don’t really understand how that could be rude. She just wants to be there to witness the marriage of two people who obviously wanted her to be there, so how is it rude to try to attend as much as possible? I would have totally understood if anyone had to do that for my wedding. I guess I just don’t see how it could be rude…
@CharBell: I’d say definitely go to Wedding B – but I would personally have tried to make it to Wedding A’s ceremony, but I’d send back my RSVP as a decline and just go to the ceremony, and probably call and personally explain the situation, or write it on the back of the RSVP, etc. so that the bride and groom understand what’s going on. I *might* also lie and say I had already committed to one before getting the second invite just so they wouldn’t feel offended that I chose one over the other, unless you are more closely related to one and can use that as the reasoning.